2009, what a year.

2009 came and went.

Reflecting on this last day of 2009, my thoughts immediately go to my mom. She is bringing in the second phase of her life in the presence of her Savior. Forever.

Meanwhile, back here in phase 1, I am living the day to day wanting Christ to be my life. Yesterday I was reading Colossians 3. It is very rich. Col 3:1 says to "set your hearts on things above, where Christ is." My prayer for this year is to set my affections on Him.
Verse 4 says "Christ, who is your life..." My question is: Is He?

I want Him to be my life.

Other highlights of 2009 include:

*moving-which has been such blessing. We love our home and the area of town.

*the girls going to another school. They have adjusted well and God has brought them some really neat friends.

*BSF. We are going through the book of John. Next year is the book of Isaiah, cannot wait.

*Crazy Love bible study. We are hosting it in our home and absolutely love the people that God has brought together.

*Lifegroup. It is a blessing to have these friends to "do life" with.

*Running. It has been awesome to run (or jog or walk) and to share this hobby with Melody, a sweet friend whom God has put in my life. Our moms are/were the same age and we are going through some of the same stuff, unexpectedly. We find stuff to laugh about and just vent.

*Cindy. She went on the STARS retreat in October before everything happened with mom. Wow. God is so good. His timing is so perfect. Our relationship has never been better and I cannot imagine life without her. She is going to join Concordia in January and she comes for the Crazy Love bible study. God has provided some really awesome ladies from church for her to be friends with and it is so sweet.

*Mike. When I think of miracles, I look at one everyday. What God has done in our lives and marriage is nothing short of a miracle. All of the glory goes to the One who pulled us from the pit. Grace. Undeserved. I love this man that God has given me more today than ever. That is not to say we do not have any valleys, misunderstandings, arguments...but we do not stay there. I think that is the point. To humbly keep moving forward.


2010.

What will it bring?

"Is Santa really real?"

This year this has been the ongoing question:

Katie: "Mom, tell me the truth, is Santa really real?"

me: "Why do you ask?"

Katie: "Because so-and-so says there is not a Santa."

me: "Hmm, what do you think?"

This usually buys me time, that and "Why don't you ask daddy."

So this year, we let them figure it out. Usually I wrap the presents in different paper, not this year.

Lisa: "Look, Santa uses the same paper as we do!!"

me: "Wow, He has some good wrapping paper taste."

Lisa: "Look, Santa has the same handwriting as mom."

me: "That's pretty good handwriting."

Lisa got the earrings from Santa that she saw at JCPenny when she was shopping with Mike.
Lisa: "Look, Santa got these at JCPenney's."

Mike printed out an explanation of the beginnings of St Nicholas. It was very interesting and at the end we asked the girls what they thought.

The girls came to the realization that there is not a jolly old man who comes down the chimney and eats the cookies and drinks the milk and leaves presents. But they are not going to spoil it for any of the younger children in our lives.

Mike and I came to the realization that next year on Christmas we will be able to sleep in past 5:02 a.m.

Random Thoughts

1. This is the first Christmas without my mom. Her birthday was December 19. She would have been 61. I think about her alot. I pray to God to tell her that I love her. Will probably go through Griefshare with Cindy at church.

2. The other day the girls and I were shopping for boots for them. We went into Payless shoes and looked, to no avail. While I was searching down the aisle, I glanced over at the girls and Katie was crying. I said "What are you'll doing?", Katie looked up and said "Mom, Lisa kicked me in the nuts." OK. A little explanation of anatomy was given. "Katie, you are a girl, you don't have nuts." Katie "Oh." And she was fine. Makes me wonder what is said on the playground.

3. We watched the Nativity Story last night. It was very, very good.

4. Our family present is the New KJV Audio Bible. It is FANTASTIC!!

5. One of my goals for 2010 is to read the bible in a year.

6. Another goal is to run the half marathon one more time, to do better that 2 hours 44 minutes.

7. This morning Lisa came out of her room and said "I laid in bed for a little while to grow more." Did it work? She said it did. I would like 2 more inches of height-maybe I will try it too.

8. Finished a Karen Kingsbury book "Shades of Blue." It was very good. Just started "Waiting for Morning" by her.

A Busy December

This has been a busy December. I can not believe that Christmas is here and almost gone for 2009.


The Christmas Pageant. Lisa was "S" (for shepherds whose vigil kept over their flocks while others slept."


She battled stage fright, but came through!


Katie's class. They did really good and sang really loud.


A relieved little 3rd grader.

The First Annual Cookie Exchange at Robyn's.

Dorothy and Marsha

Robyn explaining the rules

Carrie listening intently

Melody and Tricia

Drive Thru Nativity-Modern Day Family.

We volunteered to do this Dec 19 and 20. There were over 2000 cars that did the drive-by.
It was a fun experience.

With all of the happenings this season, I must sit and reflect on why we celebrate.

"And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; He is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger." Luke 2:8-12

Happy Birthday Jesus.

Christmas tour of Home '09

I snapped some pictures of the Christmas decorations in our home this year.


The kid-friendly manger scene. The breakable one is under the tree with the Wise Men, Mary, Joseph, the cow and sheep all huddled around baby Jesus who has a kleenex over Him to keep Him warm.


The Christmas tree. I know I just stated the obvious, so I will say that our tree has a whole bunch of Hallmark ornaments and homemade ornaments which are priceless.


The stockings are hung by the chimney with care. A potential fire hazard, so we took down the 2 stockings in the middle.

The advent wreath. The candles are leaning sideways due to spending the summer in the upstairs of the garage. It may look like a fire hazard, but it really isn't.

A very pretty lighted church.

Christmas music on the piano. I have sat down a time or two and played around. Primarily, our Christmas music is Casting Crowns, Travis Cottrell, Chris Tomlin and Michael W Smith CD's.

This is the extent of the outdoor decorations this year. Red and Green lights on 3 corners of the house. It looks pretty neat.

I have 3 candles in the window (plugged in), because that would be a fire hazard.

Thanksgiving Day

Mr. Smoked Turkey



Mr Mike Ryan by the fireplace.






I was just playing around with my camera. Notice the candle in the middle. The tiny lit speck.






The table setting.
I have no idea why I took that picture. I felt like taking a chance? I felt like thinking outside of the box? I felt like getting proof that the dining room table can actually be used for its intended purpose?





Grandmother Wells preparing the stuffing. It is Great Grandmother Wise's recipe and we live for it at Thanksgiving. Well done, Grandmother.

This Thanksgiving was low key. It was a peaceful day. We went to the Thanksgiving Day service at church. It was bittersweet to say the least. Our first Thanksgiving without mom.

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His love endures forever. Psalm 136:1

Thanksgiving parties and a turkey named Jeff

Happy Thanksgiving, a little early.

The girls had their Thanksgiving parties today at school. Now they get a week off and a much needed break.


This is Lisa's creative story about a turkey named Jeff. Two pages. I hope that she didn't name the turkey we have Jeff. I don't know if I can eat a turkey that has a name.


Katie thankful for "everything." Can you tell?






Lisa with her apple and caramel snack. They sang cute little songs and ate cheese and crackers, cookies, carrots, butterscotch haystacks (yummy!!)

Now we get to relax some for the next week. We will get some time to be refreshed, renewed, finish reading a book, get ready for Christmas. Where did this year go?

Mom December 19, 1948-November 7, 2009

Mom died on November 7 at 1015 in the morning at Odyssey Hospice. Cindy got the honor to be there when she opened her eyes, smiled and took her last breath. That smile remained on her face and it was a gift from God. I know Who she was smiling at, and I know He was smiling back at her, with His arms wide open welcoming His precious daughter home.

I find myself thinking of mom often. I think "I wonder what she is doing in heaven right now." I find myself wanting to be there too, not in the "end my life now" sense, but the "I can't wait to go" sense.

I find myself crying at the craziest things. Tonight I had to throw away some of the flowers from her service and it made me so sad. It was a reminder that life does go on, of course having 2 little girls and a husband and a job and everything else is a reminder also. But I want to slow down. I want to tell God that I love my mom and would He please make sure that she knows that.

Here is my eulogy that I read at mom's memorial service.

So much has happened the last few years, but as I stand here now, it seems so fleeting. As James 4: 14 says “What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”

What was my mom’s life? She did not have the best childhood, in fact, I dare say it was a childhood I would not wish on anybody. Yet by the grace of God, she married, had two girls and made sure we went to church and Sunday School every Sunday. She loved the Lord. That is what I want to take away from her life.

Some things that mom loved in her life:
Horses and books on horses
Drawing and books on drawing
Cooking and books on cooking
Do it yourself and books about doing it yourself
God and many, many books on God by many, many different authors
She loved to read and now all of her books are in my garage. Cindy and I are going to have to organize all of her books with a card catalogue and the Dewey Decimal System.

Many of you will remember mom rocking on her rocking chair in her wrangler jeans, plaid shirt, vest, boots and baseball cap. Obviously Cindy and I didn’t inherit her sense of style. But she was very content with what she had.


At the end, all she wanted to do was to go to church. She loved to talk with Mike about the Lord. She basically was a captive audience for him, so he could talk as long as he wanted about God, his favorite subject.

I just wanted to share some personal thoughts written at my mom’s bedside.
This is taken from my journal and it sums up my thoughts about my mom:

This morning is beautiful. Cindy made her peace with mom last night. I feel at peace. Regrets I have are not taking more pictures of mom the last couple of years. I regret not being more patient in my thoughts when mom would repeat herself or could not remember how to get to the bathroom. However, I am far more thankful than regretful. I am thankful that Cindy and I got the opportunity to take care of mom the last few years. I am thankful to know her wishes for the end of her life. Psalm 116:7 “Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.” When mom died, she opened her eyes and smiled. No doubt Who she was smiling at. Psalm 116:15 “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints”

Thank you mom for raising us to love the Lord. You planted the seed, and it took. I love the Lord with all of my heart. I will see you again without a doubt.

I am sorry this disease took your mental capacities. I am sorry that you don’t get to see your grandchildren grow up. But know that Mike and I are raising Lisa and Katie to love the Lord and to serve Him. Please know that Cindy and I are closer now than we have ever been. She is on the road in her walk with Christ and Mike and I will be on that road with her. You are at peace. A peace that passes all understanding, but one day we will understand. And we will all rejoice together with Jesus Christ.

As the Apostle Paul said in
Philipians 1:21 “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.”

It was a beautiful service. Many of the ladies from Concordia and the STARS retreat surprised us and came and sang a beautiful song "Daughter's Praise." Pastor Zach gave a wonderful message that preached the gospel, something that mom would have wanted. We had a nice little reception here at the house and now it is time to grieve and be joyful. Mom truly is in a far better place.

Mom

Mom is in hospice now. The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of unexpected news, big decisions and trusting God.

It is amazing how fast life goes, that tomorrow is not promised to us. Of course, Gods word tells us this. "Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." James 4:15

Yesterday I planned the funeral for mom. It was not difficult for she has given us her wishes. She does not want her life to be prolonged, she wants to be cremated. I found in her Bible a note left for me and Cindy that said she did not want a funeral, but a celebration. That she is with Jesus Christ and we will see her again one day.

I will write soon all of the ways God in His mercy has guided us, comforted us and let us have closure. How everything happened. Now we just wait for her final breath.

Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. Psalm 116:7

Happy Birthday Mike

Today is Mike's 42nd birthday. How will we celebrate? Well, first he will wake up with a sore throat. Then Lisa will wake up with a fever. We will decide to keep Lisa home from school. May have to miss BSF tonight.

I will decide to make Mike's favorite dinner: steak. Except that is not steak in our freezer. Surprise: it will be pork chops.

Mike doesn't care, because now he has body aches all over and is happy with leftovers. In fact he loves leftovers. I love that he loves leftovers.



I am so thankful for this man that God has given me. He makes me laugh, makes me cry, is an encourager, is my accountability. He is good at disciplining and loving our children. He loves to make them laugh and be silly with them. But the most important thing is that he knows the reason for his birth--to know and to glorify the One who has given us life.

Questions

My girls talk alot, it almost seems continuous. They ask a million questions.

This evening on the way home from Aunt Cindy's a couple of the questions were:

"What does it mean to fear God?" followed by "What is a musketeer?"

How do you explain fearing God without being afraid of God. What the heck is a musketeer anyway-a candy bar, a character from a story with 2 friends? Mike answered the questions age appropriately-and I now know what a musketeer REALLY is.

My favorite questions begin with "Mom, when you were little did you..."

The scariest questions are "Mom, what does it mean to..."

The hardest questions are about faith and God and the birds and the bees. But I have learned to ask them a question in return to see how much they know... and to buy time.

Summer Blast 2009

This summer has flown by. It has been very hot and the best way to beat the heat is to find some cool, refreshing water.
Here are the girls getting ready to snorkel at Landa Park.



Here is a "duck's eye" view of the water.

Another way to beat the heat is to go ice skating. Here are the summer blasters getting warmed up next to the wall. Will they venture out?

Eventually the ventured away from the wall and ice skated around the rink. Here are Lisa and Sydney.

This was a trip to Austin's Barton Springs. It was FREEZING!! It is 68 degrees all year around, so the locals say. I say it is 45 degrees. The 106 degree heat felt rather refreshing after getting out of the water here.

Holy Flying Bats, Batman!!
We went and watched the bats fly out from under the bridge in Austin that evening. There were millions of them. And also some serious bat watchers. Austin even has a "bat phone." I kid you not, there is someone who actually picks up the "bat line" and will answer any question you may have about the bats--like what time they leave, where they go, when the come back, what happened to the batmobile, where is Robin. Not that I would ask those questions, no, Mike called the "bat line" and asked.

You can't really tell in this picture, but those are a cloud of bats flying around the tree line.

Port Aransas, August 1, 2009

Here is my sweet Lisa girl. I'm sure whatever it was she was holding was interesting.

I just love these close up pictures. Still get to catch a glimpse of a little girl. A little girl deep in thought.

Another one of my favorite pictures. Daddy with his girls walking and talking down the beach at sunset.

OK, I had great intentions for this picture. Imagine the dimensional view of the pier with the waves rolling in and my child in the front all in focus. It has artistic potential-but I should have deleted it.

This was a fun picture. All of those little clams come up to the surface as the waves rolls back to the ocean. They try to get themselves back into the sand as quickly as possible, so it is fun to put your feet in the sand while they tickle them as they frantically dig themselves back to safety.

The girls participated in Summer Blast this year. It was so much fun for them. They went on many field trips and have made a lot of new friends. Except for a couple of bumps in the road, like the biting incident, the nose incident, the hitting incident, it was well worth it. The biting and hitting incident happened between my two girls, but we worked through it.

A quote

Zeal!!

"I'm part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have the Holy Spirit power. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made I'm a disciple of his. I won't look back, let up. Slow down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure. I'm finished and done with low living, sight walking, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, worldly talking, cheap giving and dwarfed goals."

"I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits or popularity. I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on his presence, walk by patience, am uplifted by prayer, and I labor with power."-


Words of a young pastor in Zimbabwe, Africa, later martyred for his faith in Christ

Living for Jesus/ Stepping out of the boat

1 John 2:6 Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.

What does it mean to walk as Jesus did?
How do I do this?
How much time do I spend with Him in order to know Him?
How much do I want to be like Him?

These are the thoughts going through my mind. These are the desires of my heart. Then my day begins, the girls argue, my patience grows thin, I start to feel insecure.
The story of Jesus walking on water came afresh for me. I love how God does that. The story I have heard since childhood seems so deep and relevant.

Matthew 14:22-33
Jesus Walks on the Water
22Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, 24but the boat was already a considerable distance[a] from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it. (Mark 6:48 says that Jesus saw the the disciples straining at the oars because the wind was against them--I love that Jesus was watching them)
25During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.
27But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."
28"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
29"Come," he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
31Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why do you doubt?"(who did Peter doubt--I think he doubted himself of following Jesus or was it the insecurity that arises when you take your focus off of Christ and put it on the situation or surroundings at hand?)
32And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."

Peter had the courage to step out of the boat and try the impossible. Do I?

Dear Lord,
Please give me the courage to walk as you walked, to be a devoted disciple, to have faith to step out of the boat. Help us to live for You in our culture.

Lisa's Birthday

The most welcoming and warm host and hostess.

Lisa's birthday is May 28. She turned 9 years old. We asked her where she wanted to go for her birthday, any restaurant she wanted. She said "I really want to go over to Mr. and Mrs. William's house and eat with them and swim." I said "you can go ANYWHERE, remember Katie picked the Magic Time Machine?" She said she really wanted to go over to the William's house-and they were thrilled. Sheila planned this super cute party theme based on what Lisa and Katie LOVE to do at their home. The theme was "The Secret Layer" (it may be lair).


She got to invite two friends, Joseph and Savannah, who are brother and sister.
This is everybody playing in the pool. They all played so good together and laughed so much. It is a joy to hear the kids laughing and having a good time.


Sheila quilted this quilt for her son and she has tea parties on it with her granddaughters.
The kids got to eat their dinner on it and yes, spill stuff on it too, with no worries!


Savannah, Katie, Lisa and Joseph.



Mike and Gary discussing major issues in life. (when to start the grill and why mosquitoes are attracted to Gary)

Sheila made these creatures from SCRATCH. She did a fabulous job of putting together this party for Lisa. She said she had so much fun doing this and we had fun eating them.

This is not a real butterfly, it is part of the game the kids played. They had to find these creatures in their backyard.

They also wore these adorable hats while bug-finding.

This is the "Secret Layer" (or lair, I don't know how to spell it). It is the electrical box thingy in their backyard surrounded by bushes. Whenever we go over to their home, Lisa and Katie LOVE to go and play back there and named it "The Secret Layer." So Sheila themed the party after that and it was SO MUCH FUN!!

God gave us their friendship in such a unique way-a total God thing and we are so blessed by it. Two summers ago we were doing The Truth Project on our own and Pastor Mike called us to see if we would be interested in hosting "a lady of the congregation who is very interested in doing this". Of course we enthusiastically said "Yes, we would love to!" and he said, "great, it is Sheila Williams." Well, I have known her my whole life since I went to grade school with her son at Concordia and then all of these years of going to the Women's Bible Study. We were so honored to do this. So we have fellowshipped and served along side Gary and Sheila every since. They are the real deal and we love them to pieces.

My oldest baby girl turned 9. She is such a joy and we are incredibly honored that God has given us her. We pray that we don't mess her up!!