Spring time fun

Life has sure been busy around here. The last leg of the school year, new job with hospice, BSF, Katie's soccer, Lisa's art, Griefshare, STARS retreat team (I am giving my testimony and will be a table leader and the nurse.) There will be so much to share in the near future about my job and the retreat, but for now here is a short recap of what we've been up to.

We had a long weekend at the coast last weekend. It was nice to get away.

We were able to bring the kayak again and this time actually get it off the top of the suburban. The last time it was so windy that we could not even take the thing down. Speaking of wind, I went for a run on the beach and headed off, it was so...easy, relaxing, even fun. But then, I turned around to come back to our spot and it was...hard, not relaxing, and fun had escaped my mind. It was a work-out.

The girls were VERY excited to give this kayaking a shot.

There they go. Fun times ready to be had by all.

Oh no! What happened to the fun times?

Lisa and Katie were not happy with the tipping of the kayak. It scared them and neither one of them have the desire to kayak again. At least for this trip. They seem to have short term memories on some things. At least they weren't out too deep and they had their life jackets on and their daddy was right there to help them out:-)


On Saturday I got to go to the Beth Moore Simulcast "So Long Insecurity." It was a great simulcast that I attended in Rockport. It was based on Ephesians 4: 17-24:
So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more. You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught with regard to your former way of life, to put off you old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to like God in true righteousness and holiness.

6 statements that describe a secure woman based on Ephesians 4.

A secure woman is:

S-saved from herself (insecurity is idolatrous self interest; God's security takes us out of ourselves, security makes us think less often of ourselves)

E-entitled to truth (deceitful desires: if I could just have this, achieve this, be this...then I would be secure, perfectionism is an insecurity at an art form) Eph 4:21

C-clothed with intention (Be intentional, we will not walk in security accidentally, Prov 31:25 She is clothed with strength and dignity)

U-upended by grace ( grace them as Christ Jesus has graced me; people who believe they are deeply graced deeply grace others)

R-rebounded by love (Jesus loves me THIS I KNOW, we are loved, live like a dearly loved child)

E-exceptional in life--this one was my favorite. Let Christ overtake me so I will be secure in my relationships, work life, church life, social life--then I will stick out like a healthy thumb and people will want to know what my hope is.

Some example were: everyone is out for her own...except her
no one can handle that...except her

nobody was nice...except her

nobody handles aging well...except her

threatened by other women....except her

Be the exception. What is it about you? Jesus

Overwhelmed and Inadequate (how's that for a catchy title)

Time is just going by so fast and I sit for a moment and think that if I would have done this or that I would be done by now. If I got organized, really organized, that I would not feel so overwhelmed so much of the time.

The past few weeks I have been in a state of insecurity like I haven't been in for a while. I question every single decision I am making--little ones like what to make for dinner to big ones like did I make the right decision to leave my job at Baptist. There is so much unknown and I wish that God would just say audibly--"this is what I want you to do."

I am feeling insecure as a mom. The girls are getting so big and I don't want them to have the same issues I did. I want to have a relationship with them that I didn't get to have with my mom. I want them to love God with every fiber of their being and to find husbands that love God with every fiber of their being. It is scary to see the world they are growing up in and it is making me feel like if we don't prepare them for what is out there, they will follow the crowd.

It feels like all I do is discipline. Or keep on them for everything like brushing teeth and picking up behind themselves. I try to have light, fun conversations with them but then they start to pick on each other and before I know it--the moment is over and discipline is required. Takes all of the fun out of it.

Mike and I had a difficult week. We are good now, but it just reminds me that we are both flawed human beings expecting the other one not to be flawed. Communication is so vital to a marriage, that it is almost hilarious that men and women communicate so differently. Being humble and holding ones tongue is also so vital. Of course, sometimes the humility comes only after you didn't hold your tongue:-)

Even though I am going through this...valley of sorts, I will not stay here. I will learn what I need to learn, apply it and move on.

I am incredibly thankful for this Holy Week. Jesus took all of my sins and flaws upon Himself and paid the price so that I can live eternally in His presence. How do I give thanks? I can't in my own strength. But I can go on to live a life of thanks and to remain in His Spirit. To let the Holy Spirit have control at all times, especially in the most difficult of times--like marriage and parenting-which I am learning is not for the faint of heart--and they both bring out every single insecurity that plagues me. I am extremely grateful for where God has placed me, the people He has given me to love, nurture, pray for and yes, discipline when needed.

Lord, deliver me from these feelings of being inadequate and insecure. You have not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. Be my strength in weakness. Give me the power to trust You in all areas.
In Jesus' saving name, amen