Surgery, Car Seats and Birthday, Oh My!

                                    Mother's Day 2012
                                   I love these people!!

                                Lisa Micheal Ryan, 12 years old

I cannot believe that we have a 12 year old.  She can now sit in the front seat of a vehicle.  It seems like yesterday we were securing her into a car seat, then she could secure herself, then we didn't need a car seat or booster seat and now she can sit in the front. 
So funny how I compared her life to that of the use of the car seat.
But let me say this:  She is way more excited for the privilege to sit in the front seat than I ever remember being.  Probably because we didn't have these safety laws back when I was growing up.  She sat in the front seat on the way to school and it was strange to look over and see her sitting there, looking mature and pretty.  Then all I could think about was car accidents and is the front really very safe for her yet.  She does meet the height (as she is almost as tall as me) and weight (she is 84 pounds).  Just a mama thing I suppose.

Mike graduated with his BSN.  Going to start NP school in August at University of Texas in El Paso (UTEP).  I had a surprise graduation party for him and he was surprised.  I wanted to let him in on it many times, but so glad I didn't--him too--he told me we would have canceled it if he would have found out about it.  It was so neat to see him surrounded by the people who mean the most to him.  But he wanted to make sure that everybody knew that it wasn't him, but God who got him here.  For Sure!!

I had a total hysterectomy on May 22.  It was supposed to be laparscopic with 3 little incisions, but ended up with an abdominal incision.  We had been praying about this surgery and to be kept safe throughout the procedure.  My surgery was originally scheduled to be at 7am then they pushed it back to 9am.  I showed up promptly at 7, got all ready for my lap. hysterectomy.  My doctor finally came in at 10:10 and apologized for the first case taking so long.  No problem!  They finally came for me at 10:30.  That is all I remember.   I woke up at 5 pm in pain and freezing cold.  When my doctor got in she saw that my bladder was totally adhered to my uterus and that she was going to have issues.  She needed a urologist.  Well there "just happened to be one" available at that moment at the board in the department.  This doctor came in and worked on me for one hour to separate the bladder from the uterine wall, but they had to open me up. I am not having any bladder issues--praise the Lord for His mercies and His timing.  My surgery lasted 3 hours.  Mike said they probably didn't have a bear hugger on me to keep me warm in the OR, thinking it was going to be a quick procedure, and my core temp dropped.
I am so thankful that my friend Kathy who works at NCB was able to be with me in the recovery room and be my advocate--so thankful for my husband who knows what questions to ask and is not afraid to ask!  Most of all I am thankful for the protection of our Lord and Savior, for His healing hand and His love shown to me through the kindness of our family and friends.

A Slump and Seven

I have been in a little slump lately.  One of my co-workers took his life 2 weeks ago and leaves behind his beautiful wife and 3 little children ages 8, 6 and 4.  We have known them for over 15 years and I am just shocked.  There is so much to this story that runs deep, but what I have learned is that what you see on the outside as the "perfect" life can be completely broken on the inside. 

I  read a book "7-an experimental mutiny against excess" by Jen Hatmaker.  I must say I am convicted on many levels.  She did her own experiment of embarking on a journey of less--less food, clothes, possessions, media, waste, spending and stress.  She takes seven months, seven areas and reduces to 7 simple choices.  Seven food items, 7 clothing items, donates 7 things each day that month, ect.

It has made me very aware of all of the waste that my family and I do.  I went into my closet and looked at it full of clothes--many of which I wear the same items over and over and the rest is not touched.  But yet, I will continue to buy more because I want to.  It is definitely not a need--same with Lisa and Katie and Mike.  Something must change---and it has to be me.

I looked at our pantry.  Full of food.  We never go to bed hungry or wonder where our next meal is coming from ( unless we are going out to eat:-)  We are indeed blessed and take for granted all that we do have, while there are children going to bed hungry here in my own city...not to mention those little ones starving on the other side of the world.  I can't just say "we sponsor 3 children and give to Kiva and Food for the Poor and Samaritan's Purse".  I don't know what I am supposed to do right now, but God is stirring in me something.  One thing I have done is use up more of our pantry stuff and food in the freezer before going to the store--except for milk and fresh fruits and veggies.  We are really good at eating left-overs.  I love left-overs since it means I don't have to cook--"It's left-overs tonight!!!"

It has made me ponder on what to cut out or cut back on.  I want to live more simply and fill the excess with Jesus.  I am praying about what I will do.  For food, and I have done this before, I will cut out white products,processed foods and sweets.  I did this for 2 months back in the fall and I had so much more energy and felt great.  I am not sure if I could eat only 7 foods like Jen did.  However, her foods were very doable.  They were eggs, chicken, avocado, whole-wheat bread, spinach, sweet potatoes and apples and only water to drink, salt and pepper and olive oil.

This time I will cut out coffee.  I love coffee.  I have a cup sitting right next to me as I write.
So starting May 1 for one month I will cut out white, sugary, processed foods, and coffee.  I don't drink sodas and love water so the absolute hardest thing will be the coffee.  I love the smell in the morning, the feel of the warm coffee cup in my hand, the aroma of the coffee grounds.  Yeah, I love coffee.  I am sure there will be coffee in heaven.

Switching gears.

I wanted to share something from The Truth Project blog that has inspired me.  Dr Del Tacket was writing in response to the recent death of Chuck Colson, a leader and Christ follower.  He said that many people were talking about how we are losing all of the great Christian leaders.  But are we to sit around and wait for another leader to arise and tell us what to do, are we incapable of action.  He said at Pentecost, God's Spirit fell on all of the believers, not just the leaders.

You have everything you need to fulfill the call of God in your life. Be excellent in your vocational call. Be fruitful in your ministerial call. Be a great Dad. Be a great Mom. Be a great son or daughter, sister, brother. Love God. Love one another. Love you neighbor. Walk blamelessly before God and men. Live in such a way that your neighbor asks you why you have such hope. Prepare yourself to answer that question. Be light in a dark world. Be salt in a sick culture.



So let's see how this goes. 

I want less of me and my wants and more of Jesus.

One of my favorite Bible Stories

One of my favorite Bible lessons is from Luke 24:13-35. 

13 Now that same day two of them were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem. 14 They were talking with each other about everything that had happened. 15 As they talked and discussed these things with each other, Jesus himself came up and walked along with them; 16 but they were kept from recognizing him. 17 He asked them, “What are you discussing together as you walk along?”
They stood still, their faces downcast. 18 One of them, named Cleopas, asked him, “Are you the only one visiting Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?”
19 “What things?” he asked.
“About Jesus of Nazareth,” they replied. “He was a prophet, powerful in word and deed before God and all the people. 20 The chief priests and our rulers handed him over to be sentenced to death, and they crucified him; 21 but we had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel. And what is more, it is the third day since all this took place. 22 In addition, some of our women amazed us. They went to the tomb early this morning 23 but didn’t find his body. They came and told us that they had seen a vision of angels, who said he was alive. 24 Then some of our companions went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but they did not see Jesus.”
25 He said to them, “How foolish you are, and how slow to believe all that the prophets have spoken! 26 Did not the Messiah have to suffer these things and then enter his glory?” 27 And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself.
28 As they approached the village to which they were going, Jesus continued on as if he were going farther. 29 But they urged him strongly, “Stay with us, for it is nearly evening; the day is almost over.” So he went in to stay with them.
30 When he was at the table with them, he took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them. 31 Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight. 32 They asked each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?”
33 They got up and returned at once to Jerusalem. There they found the Eleven and those with them, assembled together 34 and saying, “It is true! The Lord has risen and has appeared to Simon.” 35 Then the two told what had happened on the way, and how Jesus was recognized by them when he broke the bread.


I am in such awe of Him and love Him so.
I love how much Jesus shared in their walk down that road to Emmaus.  He came along side of them and was interested in their lives.  They had just experienced life changing events and told Jesus about them--even though He knew EVERY detail.  Then He told them about himself through scripture and then joined them for dinner--He stepped into their lives.  I love how they say in verse 32 "Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?"

 Does my heart burn?  Oh how I pray for that burn!

Spring Break

Spring is in the air--except for this rainy cold snap that came in, but it has given us the opportunity to use our fireplace again!

 Spring break starts today!!!  We are in need of a break from the hustle and bustle of our schedules and just enjoy one another for a whole week.

Today we are going to visit a friend in Kenedy who had back surgery yesterday.  We are going to take her and her husband chicken soup/bread and brownies.
 
On Tuesday we are heading to Port A for a couple of days of beach fun.  Evie (Lisa's best friend) is going to go with us.  This is her first time to go on a vacation without her family and our first time to take somebody who is not related with us.  The last time we brought somebody with us it was my mom and she fell and broke her hip.  Needless to say, I have been having all kinds of "worse case scenarios" in my mind and have had to pray hard to keep the enemy from attacking and stealing my joy.  This decision to take Evie has been prayed over by us and her family.  The girls are SO EXCITED.

I had a job offer just kind of pop up.  I had my first interview with the CEO of a company called Health By Design.  I am going back for my second interview with 2 of the physicians sometime soon.  I don't know exactly what I will be doing, but this is the most unique place I have had the opportunity to work.  They are a faith-based organization, God first, family second, job third.  We ended the interview in prayer seeking Gods will.  I looked at my schedule for the ER in April and I am only scheduled for 2 shifts.  Hmm.  The ER has offered me a FT position when the next facility opens in late summer/early fall.  In the meantime......we will see how God's hand is working :-)

Mike is working hard in school and his job.  He will finish in less than 2 months, but the road from here to there is kind of a steep.  Algebra is almost over, then he has US History and  American Literature and a capstone class.  I am so proud of him and am looking forward to seeing what God has in store for him and for us in the future.  Nurse Practitioner?  God knows!  Either way, he will have his BSN.  I cannot remember what our life was like before he started school--and that was not even a year ago.  He will have earned his BSN in less than a year.  At this point if he gets into NP school, that is fine, but if he doesn't that if fine also.

Lisa started track.  We had our first track meet this past Thursday.  It was a looonnnggg day.  We got to the SACS field at 1130 and didn't leave on 7pm.  Lisa ran the 2400m and the 1600m.  The 2400 is 6 laps around the track.  It was kind of a re-play of what happened her first cross country meet.  She ran fast and didn't pace herself and ran out of juice.  She cried and was embarrassed and said she didn't want to run track and hated running and blah, blah, blah.  I felt so bad for her, my heart was just breaking.  But we are not in this to just win.  I  listened to her and let her feel it.  Then we had to get over it and march on.  A windy cold front blew in before her 2nd event (the 1600m which is 4 laps around the track).  Poor little thing, having to run in a thin little track outfit.  She paced herself and ran all 4 laps and came in 4th out of 6.  We are so proud of her.  I am reminded that she has her races to run in life and as parents we are standing by encouraging, coaching, teaching, but feeling it too.  I want so much to make it smooth and always go her way, but it will not always and that is not the best for her anyway.

Katie's basketball team came in 2nd place for their division this year.  The championship game was hard.  They lost by only 2 points.  Katie is starting to understand basketball.  Her position was point guard and she knew what she was supposed to do.  It was so fun to watch--especially because I really had no clue what the "plays" were, but to see the players yell out something and everybody run to their spot--is just so cute.

Another Decade Gone/ My Dash

Birthdays have never been a big deal to me.  Turning 40 is really no big deal either.  I don't know if my life is half over or not.  I want to live as though today is my last day.  And I am ready in case it is.  I am also ready in case it isn't.
  
The 20's decade was one of major life changes--career established, marriage and children.  The 30's decade has been one marked by my walk with Christ becoming REAL.  There were some tough years in there--I would never want to repeat these lessons.  They are learned--by the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ.

But as a decade closes, it does cause me to pause and reflect.

As I reflect on the last decade I am filled with humble gratitude.
 
-God took a marriage on the brink of disaster and created something beautiful.  He continues to mold us and shape us and form us into His likeness.  And it is not an easy job :)  I pray for God to protect our marriage from the pull of the world, for our marriage to honor the One who pieced it back together and for us to grow old together, laugh with each other, cry with each other, raise our daughters and teach them to love and honor God above all else.  I also pray for their future spouses to have a love for God and are running hard after Him.

-God took my mom to her heavenly home.  I am thankful that my mom is out of the misery that gripped her for her entire life.  She now is with Jesus and I cannot wait to see her again in His perfection. I pray for comfort as grief still tugs at my heart every now and then.

-He has given me some beautiful, godly friendships.  These ladies have encouraged, counseled, laughed, cried and come along and walk this walk with me.  I pray to learn to be a good friend.  To listen.  To encourage and build up and to not tear down. 

-God has allowed me to work in the emergency room again.  I pray that I am His hands and feet as I care for those who come through our doors.

-He has given me an opportunity to serve at church in a role that is still being defined.  It is fun to see it roll out before us.  However, it is pulling me out of my comfort zone.  I pray that whatever the plan is, it is His plan and not "the church's".  I pray that He equips me to do whatever it is He has in store and that I do it with a willing heart.

In ABC a couple of weeks ago, Pastor Zach taught on Unresolved: Time.  Specifically "your dash"-the dash on your tombstone.

What am I doing with my dash?

My dash is not my dash.  My dash belongs to the Lord.  This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.  Psalm 118:24

My dash is short.  1 Corinthians 7:29...the time is short...

My dash is like a dash, a race.  It will take some effort and energy.  It may even be exhausting!
 2 Timothy 4:7-8  I have fough the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.  Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me but also to all those who have longed for His appearing.

My dash intersects with eternity.  Ecc 3:11...He has also set eternity in the hearts of men;...

My dash is not about a "bucket list", about jobs, money, more things, accomplishments.  It is about the people I love. It is about the things that last for eternity--people, not things. This is where I make a differance.  Am I being present with others, am I being tender, being patient?  Am I being hypocritical in how I am spending my dash?  Am I being selfish or being a servant?

 Jesus used His dash as a servant.

I want to use my dash to be a servant.

Amazed at God's Word

I have been learning SO MUCH and it is SO EXCITING.  I don't want to forget this stuff.

I have been learning so much about Paul in BSF and in another Bible Study I am doing.  Plus Adult Bible Class at church has hit on a few points also.

So Paul was this fellow, a very smart guy from Tarsus, who was raised Jewish, studied under a prominent pharisee, teacher of the Law named Gamaliel.  But he did not believe in Jesus Christ as the  promised Messiah.  He persecuted the followers of "The Way", had them arrested and would even go and get them from Damascus and bring them back to Jerusalem as prisoners to be punished.

So he has his "Road to Damascus" life changing event and he becomes this powerful witness for Jesus Christ.

One of the things that has struck me a few times is this:  With Paul's conversion, the disciples did not trust it at first (Acts 9: 26).   Acts 9:15 says "This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the the people of Israel.  I will show him how much he must suffer for my name."

A couple of thoughts here.  He was Jewish and God says he is going to carry His name before the Gentiles.  Gentiles and Jewish people didn't really associate much together. They couldn't hardly even eat together.   Hmmm.

Another thought is how was he going to get an audience for the kings?   Make an appointment perhaps?  :-)

And then the "I will show him how much he must suffer for my name."  Wow.  I believe that is a scary statement coming from Jesus--one who suffered for Paul, for me.

There is the whole Jerusalem Council in Acts 15, which to me is huge.  Gentiles no longer had to convert to Judaism in order to be included among God's people.  (Acts 15:9)  Jeremiah 12:16 even prophecies about it.  So the apostles come up with only 4 rules instead of the 600+ the Jews had to follow called the Apostolic Decree.
1. abstain from food polluted by idols
2. abstain from sexual immorality
3. from eating the meat of strangled animals
4. and from blood.
This meant that Jews and Gentiles could eat together...they could fellowship around a meal!!  I think that is amazing.  It was pivotal.

I was studying Acts 19 and came across verse 11.  "God did extraordinary miracles through Paul, "
As I reflect on that I also reflect on the verse that says he must suffer for Jesus' name.  So many times in Paul's testimony he is in prison--that is how he got his audience in front of kings.  But yet he pens verses like Acts 14: 22 " We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God." after he was stoned and
Philippians 4: 4 "Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice"  while he is in prison in Rome when Nero was in charge and he was awaiting trial.

Paul suffered for the name of Jesus Christ.  He suffered in a manner that glorified Jesus Christ.

I reflect on the materialism all around, about the bubble I can put myself in, about living a life that is whole-hearted Christ-Centered.  My hope is to live my life completely for Christ.  To be bold in my faith, to be content in my circumstances.  To honor God in all He has called me to do and trust that He will equip me...no matter what.

Philippians 4:11b-13:  for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  For I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

What I Know.

Yesterday I was talking to one of my friends and we started discussing how fast time goes.  As I look back on this blog I notice I can only manage a post about once a month--and I tell you, that comes around really fast.

So here we are at the end of 2011.  The year flllleeeewww by.  I am anticipating this next year will also.
 
I would have never guessed that I would be back in emergency nursing, especially since I was just about to start a case management job back in January after doing hospice prior.  I had never been a "job hopper", so changing jobs like this in 1 year was a tad stressful.
Who Knew? 
I would have never guessed that Mike would be fully on the road to getting his BSN and applying for nurse practioner school. 
Who Knew? 
I would have never guessed that Lisa would really turn out to be a cross-country runner or Katie really love the game of basketball this year.
Who Knew?
I would have never guessed that we would have two INDOOR kitties and another dog.
Who Knew?

God Knew.

What will 2012 bring?  God Knows.

I don't know what the next moment may bring, but I do know that:

-There will be troubles. In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart! I have overcome the world.  John 16:33.
-Jesus will be with us.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.  Matthew 28:20.
-He will never leave me or forsake me. Hebrews 13:5
-In Him we have peace.  John 16:33
-He is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1
-He is always with me, He holds me by my right hand, He guides me with His counsel and afterward He will take me into glory.  Psalm 73:23-24.  This verse has brought me so much comfort.  I think back to my moms death and as she opened her eyes and smiled at the One who was taking her into glory.  Wow.  It gives me goosebumps just thinking about it.

I praise God for the mighty wonders He has done in our life.  I praise Him for the people and friendships He has given us, even when they come for just a season.  I know that we will have all of eternity to "catch up".  I praise Him for our church family and the opportunities to serve and to grow and be encouraged and to encourage.  I praise Him for the gift of eternal life.  I do not know when my last breath on earth will be, but I do know where I will be spending all of eternity and because of that I can continue on in my calling here on earth and give God ALL of the glory.

Blessed be the Lord.