Merry Christmas

We saw this video in church a couple of weeks ago and it is AWESOME.

I have been writing out the Psalms since May and have been so amazed at God's timing over and over again in writing out a certain Psalm and it pertaining to my life or somebody I know who needed to hear a word at that time.  God's word is living and active (Hebrews 4:12).

I just finished Psalm 111 this morning.  Starting at verse 5b "He remembers His covenant forever."  (Thank you Lord).  7 "The works of His hands are faithful and just; all His precepts are trustworthy.  8 They are steadfast forever and ever, done in faithfulness and uprightness.  9 He provided redemption for His people; He ordained His covenant forever---holy and awesome is His name" (And...Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace [Isaiah 9:6].  10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow His precepts have good understanding.  To Him belongs eternal praise."

This has helped me to prepare my heart this Christmas season as I meet Him at the manger.

Merry Christmas.

A Thought

  On Friday after school I told the girls about the shooting because they would be hearing about it on the radio or seeing it on the internet almost immediately.  Lisa was visibly shaken and after a long pause she said "Mom, this is the worst day for their parents, but it is the best day for those little children who are in heaven."

The following I got from Facebook, for some reason it wouldn't allow me to share it on our timeline, but I
thought it was very powerful.  It reminded me of what Lisa was talking about.

Twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38 when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate. Their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air. They could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there. They were filled with such joy; they didn't know what to say. They remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day. “where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse. “This is heaven" declared a small boy. "We’re spending Christmas at God's house”. When what to their wondering eyes did appear, but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near. He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same. Then He opened His arms and He called them by name. And in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring those children all flew into the arms of their King and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace, one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face. And as if He could read all the questions she had He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad. “then He looked down on earth, the world far below He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe, then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand, “Let My power and presence re-enter this land! “May this country be delivered from the hands of fools” “I’m taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools! “Then He and the children stood up without a sound. “Come now my children let me show you around. “Excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran. All displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can. And I heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight, “in the midst of this darkness,” I AM STILL THE LIGHT."

Heartbreak

My heart is just breaking on so many levels.

I have not written about the death of one of our close family friends who took his own life on Nov 5.  I still am not able to adequately express my grief for his wife, Deb, and their two daughters Ellie and KK. Even our grief runs deep.
Deb and I started to run together a few years ago.  She is an eighth grade teacher at Concordia,  Ellie is in Lisa's class and KK (Kate) is in Katie's.  We have spent time with this family at school functions, athletic events and hanging out by their pool.  Ellie had her first successful sleepover at our house.  There was no indication there was anything wrong.  None.  On the outside everything looked perfect.  Sometimes I wish we could go back in time...specifically to two events and just ask "How are you...no really...HOW are you?"    We loved to talk to him and joke around.  We only talked seriously about jobs.  He had a very interesting one.  We very much enjoyed being around them.  I have no doubt that he is with our Lord in heaven.  No doubt.  1 Peter 2:25 says the Jesus is our Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.  I love that!

Are we transparent enough?  I mean, do we put a front on for others to see so that they think we have our lives together when in fact it just may be falling apart?  We were not created to go through life on our own.  God gave us community with our family, church family, friends.  He gave us others to go through this life with.  He even set the example!! 

Today there was a school shooting in Connecticut.  Last I heard, 26 people were killed with 20 of those being kindergartners.  Lord, have mercy.

I cannot even imagine just a few days before Christmas this tragedy happening.  My heart is breaking for these parents.

Last week there was a shooting in a mall.  A couple of months ago it was in a movie theater.

I know we cannot live in a bubble.  Tragedy can happen anytime, anywhere to anybody.  But only on this side of heaven.  Once we heard Max Lucado say something that was so thought provoking.  He said "If you are going to heaven, this earth is the closest to hell that you will ever be.  If you are going to hell, then this earth is the closest to heaven that you will ever be."   


Isaiah 60:2  See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the Lord rises upon you and his glory appears over you.

I lift up in prayer our sweet friends and also all of the families affected by this senseless tragedy. 

John 14:27  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Rev 22:20 "Yes, I am coming soon."  Amen.  Come, Lord Jesus.

May I Live Up To This Calling

"I am a disciple of Christ.  I will not let up, look back or slow down.  My past is redeemed and my future secure.  I am done with low living, small planning, smooth knees, mundane talking, chintzy giving and dwarfed goals.  I know longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position, promotion or popularity.  I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised or rewarded.  My face is set, my goal is sure.  My road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions few.  My God is reliable, my mission is clear.  I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, delayed, or deluded.  I will not flinch in the face of adversity nor negotiate at the table of the enemy or meander in the maze of mediocrity.  I am a disciple of Christ.  I must go until He comes, speak of all I know of Him, and work until He stops me.  And when He comes for His own, by the grace of God, He will have no problem recognizing me, because my colors are clear."

Found as the last diary entry of a martyred missionary in Africa.

Confirmation

This year Lisa in confirmation.  Confirmation class is where she learns and grows in her walk with Christ--where she digs deeper into the reasons why she believes in Jesus, Baptism, The Creeds, Holy Communion and The Holy Bible as the infallible, inerrant Word of God, The Ten Commandments and other theological stuff.  At the end of the year she will proclaim for herself her decision to walk with Christ, serve and honor Him.  She will also be able to take Holy Communion understanding what she is doing. 

I felt led to be a confirmation mentor this year.  It is so much fun.  It is like getting to go through confirmation all over again, but knowing I believe in Jesus and His Word and in the sacraments of Holy Communion and baptism--and with life experience under my belt.  It is an honor to do this.  I keep telling my group to ask, ask, ask....how wonderful it is to have our pastors teach this to our kids and to want them to ask questions and walk along side as they traverse this time in their lives. 

I pray for my group of girls (and my own girls) to understand how vital a relationship with Christ is--how He is life. How important it is to be in His Word daily.  But I know they will have to learn things for themselves--I sure did. 

They will have to learn what mercy is---as they are shown mercy;

they will have to learn what grace is--as they are given grace;  

they will have to learn to forgive--as they are forgiven; 

they will have to learn humility--as they are humbled; 

they will have to learn to love--as they are loved;

they will have to learn how to stay on the path of Christ--as they see their mentors and parents and pastors stay on the path of Christ; 

they will have to learn how to get back on the path of Christ--as they see us get back on humbly.

We went on a confirmation retreat at Mo Ranch in Hunt, Tx.  It rained but it was so much fun.

My group of girls to mentor this year:  Victoria, Sarah, Olivia, Ellie and Emily (Paige was not there)

                                                                      My Lisa girl.  See the rain:-)

They did some team building exercises--in the rain.  I learned that if you generally have a positive outlook on life,  when things are not going right (like pouring rain, mud, wet clothes) it is easier lift others up.  What I saw on my team was the opposite.  One child was very powerful in bringing the team down with negativity and not wanting to pull their weight and contribute--which meant we didn't complete our tasks and didn't have fun while not completing our tasks.

It dawned on me how as a mom I have power at home.  I can defuse a ticking bomb of negativity with my kids or I can ignite it and it will explode.

As I said, confirmation is so much fun and I love that God is teaching me so much this go around.  I am looking forward to doing this with Katie next year---unless Mike wants to mentor some boys.  I would not want to keep all of this confirmation wonderfullness to myself :-)

What drives you crazy?

Got this idea from Jen Hatmaker.  Her blog is titled "Not a Fan" and it is about things that drive you crazy in this first-world country.

Here is my list:

-Party favors:  When I was young and had a birthday party (which I ALWAYS had to share with Cindy...of course she can say she ALWAYS had to share with me because we are 3 years and 1 WEEK apart), we just had the family over, maybe a friend or two (who were usually sisters themselves) bar-b-qued, had cake and called it a party.  No gift bags.  Who thought of giving gift bags? I mean really, the kids come to a party you are paying for and then you give them a gift for coming?  Isn't that bribery?  So do you write a thank you note or not?  Should they write a thank you note?    :-)    Now that the girls are older, we get them something they really need or want--maybe an outfit or good running shoes, a fish aquarium...then we go out to eat at a restaurant they pick, like IHOP or some other top- notch, nothing-says "Happy- Birthday- to- you- like a buy one get one free" establishment.  Maybe a friend will spend the night--or not.  (We are not into sleep overs.  Stomach bugs, lice, no sleep, too much junk food....ehhh, not our thing.)

-The smell of play dough:  Enough said.

-Smacking when eating.  I cannot concentrate on anything else if there is a smacker in my presence.  Or a slurper.  If I slurp when I drink something hot, I drive myself crazy!!

-Our  house is a Sprint cell phone dead zone:  Only one tower inside---why?  They can communicate with the Mars Rover in outer space, but for some reason we get dropped calls inside our home.


That pretty much sums it up today.  Tomorrow there may something else.  :-) 

What drives you crazy?

Parenting Tween Girls

I have been meaning to get on here and type what is up--but alas, time has gotten away from me.
And now it is nearing the end of August, school has started for the girls and for Mike and July totally flew by.

I just want to get this out:  My girls are tweens and are driving me to the edge.  Lord, help me.

Emotions, hormones, attitudes (and those are just mine--hehe).  Not really, mine have been stable for a while and having the hysterectomy did not affect them at all--just don't ask Mike, he may have another opinion :-)   I am ecstatically happy that I don't have to mess with all those female issues!

Last night we went to a surprise birthday party for a friend and there were a lot of really cute little kids there--pretty much all under the age of 5.  My girls were both teaming up against me since Mike was at his school orientation in El Paso.  So I have these little tweens (K is almost 11 and L is 12 years) giving me the cold shoulder, drawing the imaginary line in the sand, pushing the limits, testing me.  These moms were dealing with temper tantrums, biting, hitting, "no's" and everything else that is exhausting at that age.  Last night I wanted to go back to that stage of parenting. Sometimes, (maybe most times) I just don't feel equipped to deal with this stuff.  I feel like I will lose it and say something that they will remember and it will scar them for life.  Or worse, they will say "I don't ever want to be like my mom."

It is not that I want to be their best friend--not in the least.  But I do want to be a godly mom.  I want to be filled with the Holy Spirit and parent out of that--not out of self--because that is when I blow it.  Parenting is humbling, that is for sure. 

I started reading a book called "Unglued" by Lisa Terkeurst.  It is about making wise choices in the midst of raw emotions.  Wise choices--stay calm, don't yell, don't let what I am thinking come out of my lips when I am angry, don't be sarcastic.

I am very excited about this book--it is perfectly timed for me.  As a reminder of why I need to read this book,  I became unglued about 5 pages into it--yup--UNGLUED.  As I was getting into this state of being I was even aware of it--UGH!

Not everything has been in disarray!  I have also been writing out the Psalms this summer.  I am currently on Psalm 71 and it is a rich way to dig into God's word.  I have picked up on so many things that I just skimmed over or never even really read.  It is amazing how God's Word speaks.  It is alive and active. 

Hebrews 4: 12  For the word of God is living and active.  Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

I started working at my old job with Baptist and love it!!  It is in the quality department and right now my big project is the mortality review.  I have to answer the question:  Could this patient have survived this hospitalization?  100% of the deaths have to be reviewed.  Having ER and hospice experience has come in handy!

I don't want to close this without saying that I absolutely love my girls and their daddy from the bottom of my heart.  My prayer for them is that they love the Lord with ALL of their hearts and they follow hard after Him.  My prayer for me is that I am the mother and the wife that God wants me to be, that I am daily filled with His Spirit so that I can do this parenting and marriage thing and at the end hear the words "Well done good and faithful servant."