I can't believe that February 2010 is over.
I turned 38 on the 15th. It was not a big deal. Birthdays have not been a big deal to me. I didn't think that it would be hard since mom died, but it turned out to be a little more difficult than I anticipated. I grieved her loss. The loss of the woman who brought me into the world, nourished me, taught me, disciplined me, loved me. I rejoiced over knowing without a doubt where she is and that one day we will be reunited.
I had some surgery to help with some female issues I had been having. I was nervous about it, but it all went rather smooth and I think that the results will be well worth it.
Mike bought me Beth Moore's book So Long Insecurity, you've been a bad friend to us.
It was really good although I don't want to say I read a good book and that's where it ends. I am working on change. On not being insecure.
My insecurities at this time in my life are fear of looking/sounding stupid or foolish or dumb, self-doubt, and being too sensitive. I need restoration. I am praying for God to do make me into what He meant me to be. He did not give me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. I am asking Him to help me take responsibility for the insecurity that I have caused myself like pride, selfishness, even thinking too little of myself which is a form of pride. I ask Him to convict me instantly when insecurity is of my own making. I ask Him to flood my life with purpose and and compassion, for Him to be my strength in weakness.
My last day at my current job is March 12. I am excited to start something different, a new challenge, and to only work part-time. I cannot wait to be a little more involved in school and Women's Bible Study, to be able to be home a little bit more, to get involved more with the girls school life. I am a little nervous for only 1 1/2 incomes instead of the 2 full time incomes, but Mike has been a great financial leader in our home and we should be able to do this without difficulty. Thank you Lord.
The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whos waters never fail. Isaiah 58:11
2 comments:
Well, I must say I am sorry. I have been so wrapped up in "me" that I didn't know you had a birthday or surgery. You are a wonderful, godly woman Sandy and I marvel over your huge loving heart and the words of comfort that flow so beautifuly from your mouth. Thanks for being you. I hope to see you soon for a real hug.
Hugs, Robyn
Sandy, your paragraph on insecurity was right on. You just described me. Same insecurities and the same daily prayers for growth & for God to refine me. I'm so thankful that I'm on this life journey with you (and Robyn!). I have found such hope in seeing you and Robyn both overcome adversity with God's help. It is a blessing and a privilege to count you as a friend that I can be totally real with, know what I mean? Praying for you....new job and retreat. Love you bunches!
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