Holy Week

Tonight is Maundy Thursday. The night Jesus had the last Passover dinner with His disciples. The night He went to the garden of Gethsemane and was sorrowful and troubled.

Tonight I let it soak in that Jesus was sorrowful and troubled. He told His disciples "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death." Matt 26:38

This Lenten season I wanted to give up something. Giving up complaining seemed like a good plan. It was very hard and I failed a few times, Mike would probably say I failed more than a few times. I don't know if I really gave it up. It seemed like the more I tried, the harder it was to not do.

Now tonight I reflect on how the disciples must have felt when Jesus asked them to "stay here and keep watch with me." Then He went to pray to His Father to take this cup away. He returned to His disciples and found them sleeping. He asked Peter if could he not keep watch with Him for one hour? Then He said "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."

How often is my spirit willing "Yes Lord, I am not going to complain, I am not going to act selfish, I am not going to ...", but then I catch myself in the midst of complaining about something that just doesn't really matter. I calculate if I am doing more work than my co-workers, why?

Was Jesus disappointed in His disciples? Is Jesus disappointed in me?

In John 13 Peter tells Jesus that he would lay down his life for him. Jesus tells Peter that before the rooster crows, he will disown him 3 times. And that is exactly what happens. How Peter must have felt when it came to be. Overwhelmed with sorrow, troubled, unworthy, disappointed in himself?

I have experienced these things. How could I have followed Jesus, know His promises, feel His love, and then fallen from the path?

Restoration.

Because of the resurrection, Peter was restored. I am restored.

John 21 is one my favorite chapters of scripture.
This is when the disciples were fishing and they caught nothing. Early in the morning Jesus was on the shore, but the disciples did not realize it was Him.
He called out "Friends [children], haven't you any fish?"
"No" they answered.
He told them to throw their net on the right side of the boat and they would find some. They caught so many fish they were unable to haul their net in. Then John realized it was Jesus. Peter jumped into the water and swam to shore. (That makes my heart swell with joy-I think I would do the same thing)
Jesus already had a fire going and fish on the fire when they got to shore (How did He get His fish?)
When they finished eating Jesus asked Peter "Simon son of John, do you truly love [agape-self sacrificial] me more that these?
Peter answered "Yes Lord, you know that I love [phileo-fond] you."
Jesus said "Feed my lambs."

Again Jesus said "Simon son of John, do you truly love [agape] me?"
Peter said "Yes, Lord, you know that I love [phileo] you."
Jesus said "Take care of my sheep."

The third time Jesus said "Simon son of John, do you love [phileo] me?
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time. He said "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."
Jesus said "Feed my sheep..."

Jesus restores Peter. He changed him from the inside out. I love that. He changed me from the inside and continues to change me. Daily.

Thank you God for this Holy Week to reflect on the sacrifice Your Son paid for my sins. May I live a life reflecting Your love and restoration.