"I am a disciple of Christ. I will not let up, look back or slow down. My past is redeemed and my future secure. I am done with low living, small planning, smooth knees, mundane talking, chintzy giving and dwarfed goals. I know longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position, promotion or popularity. I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised or rewarded. My face is set, my goal is sure. My road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions few. My God is reliable, my mission is clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, delayed, or deluded. I will not flinch in the face of adversity nor negotiate at the table of the enemy or meander in the maze of mediocrity. I am a disciple of Christ. I must go until He comes, speak of all I know of Him, and work until He stops me. And when He comes for His own, by the grace of God, He will have no problem recognizing me, because my colors are clear."
Found as the last diary entry of a martyred missionary in Africa.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Monday, October 29, 2012
Confirmation
This year Lisa in confirmation. Confirmation class is where she learns and grows in her walk with Christ--where she digs deeper into the reasons why she believes in Jesus, Baptism, The Creeds, Holy Communion and The Holy Bible as the infallible, inerrant Word of God, The Ten Commandments and other theological stuff. At the end of the year she will proclaim for herself her decision to walk with Christ, serve and honor Him. She will also be able to take Holy Communion understanding what she is doing.
I felt led to be a confirmation mentor this year. It is so much fun. It is like getting to go through confirmation all over again, but knowing I believe in Jesus and His Word and in the sacraments of Holy Communion and baptism--and with life experience under my belt. It is an honor to do this. I keep telling my group to ask, ask, ask....how wonderful it is to have our pastors teach this to our kids and to want them to ask questions and walk along side as they traverse this time in their lives.
I pray for my group of girls (and my own girls) to understand how vital a relationship with Christ is--how He is life. How important it is to be in His Word daily. But I know they will have to learn things for themselves--I sure did.
They will have to learn what mercy is---as they are shown mercy;
they will have to learn what grace is--as they are given grace;
they will have to learn to forgive--as they are forgiven;
they will have to learn humility--as they are humbled;
they will have to learn to love--as they are loved;
they will have to learn how to stay on the path of Christ--as they see their mentors and parents and pastors stay on the path of Christ;
they will have to learn how to get back on the path of Christ--as they see us get back on humbly.
We went on a confirmation retreat at Mo Ranch in Hunt, Tx. It rained but it was so much fun.
My group of girls to mentor this year: Victoria, Sarah, Olivia, Ellie and Emily (Paige was not there)
They did some team building exercises--in the rain. I learned that if you generally have a positive outlook on life, when things are not going right (like pouring rain, mud, wet clothes) it is easier lift others up. What I saw on my team was the opposite. One child was very powerful in bringing the team down with negativity and not wanting to pull their weight and contribute--which meant we didn't complete our tasks and didn't have fun while not completing our tasks.
It dawned on me how as a mom I have power at home. I can defuse a ticking bomb of negativity with my kids or I can ignite it and it will explode.
As I said, confirmation is so much fun and I love that God is teaching me so much this go around. I am looking forward to doing this with Katie next year---unless Mike wants to mentor some boys. I would not want to keep all of this confirmation wonderfullness to myself :-)
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
What drives you crazy?
Got this idea from Jen Hatmaker. Her blog is titled "Not a Fan" and it is about things that drive you crazy in this first-world country.
Here is my list:
-Party favors: When I was young and had a birthday party (which I ALWAYS had to share with Cindy...of course she can say she ALWAYS had to share with me because we are 3 years and 1 WEEK apart), we just had the family over, maybe a friend or two (who were usually sisters themselves) bar-b-qued, had cake and called it a party. No gift bags. Who thought of giving gift bags? I mean really, the kids come to a party you are paying for and then you give them a gift for coming? Isn't that bribery? So do you write a thank you note or not? Should they write a thank you note? :-) Now that the girls are older, we get them something they really need or want--maybe an outfit or good running shoes, a fish aquarium...then we go out to eat at a restaurant they pick, like IHOP or some other top- notch, nothing-says "Happy- Birthday- to- you- like a buy one get one free" establishment. Maybe a friend will spend the night--or not. (We are not into sleep overs. Stomach bugs, lice, no sleep, too much junk food....ehhh, not our thing.)
-The smell of play dough: Enough said.
-Smacking when eating. I cannot concentrate on anything else if there is a smacker in my presence. Or a slurper. If I slurp when I drink something hot, I drive myself crazy!!
-Our house is a Sprint cell phone dead zone: Only one tower inside---why? They can communicate with the Mars Rover in outer space, but for some reason we get dropped calls inside our home.
That pretty much sums it up today. Tomorrow there may something else. :-)
What drives you crazy?
Here is my list:
-Party favors: When I was young and had a birthday party (which I ALWAYS had to share with Cindy...of course she can say she ALWAYS had to share with me because we are 3 years and 1 WEEK apart), we just had the family over, maybe a friend or two (who were usually sisters themselves) bar-b-qued, had cake and called it a party. No gift bags. Who thought of giving gift bags? I mean really, the kids come to a party you are paying for and then you give them a gift for coming? Isn't that bribery? So do you write a thank you note or not? Should they write a thank you note? :-) Now that the girls are older, we get them something they really need or want--maybe an outfit or good running shoes, a fish aquarium...then we go out to eat at a restaurant they pick, like IHOP or some other top- notch, nothing-says "Happy- Birthday- to- you- like a buy one get one free" establishment. Maybe a friend will spend the night--or not. (We are not into sleep overs. Stomach bugs, lice, no sleep, too much junk food....ehhh, not our thing.)
-The smell of play dough: Enough said.
-Smacking when eating. I cannot concentrate on anything else if there is a smacker in my presence. Or a slurper. If I slurp when I drink something hot, I drive myself crazy!!
-Our house is a Sprint cell phone dead zone: Only one tower inside---why? They can communicate with the Mars Rover in outer space, but for some reason we get dropped calls inside our home.
That pretty much sums it up today. Tomorrow there may something else. :-)
What drives you crazy?
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Parenting Tween Girls
I have been meaning to get on here and type what is up--but alas, time has gotten away from me.
And now it is nearing the end of August, school has started for the girls and for Mike and July totally flew by.
I just want to get this out: My girls are tweens and are driving me to the edge. Lord, help me.
Emotions, hormones, attitudes (and those are just mine--hehe). Not really, mine have been stable for a while and having the hysterectomy did not affect them at all--just don't ask Mike, he may have another opinion :-) I am ecstatically happy that I don't have to mess with all those female issues!
Last night we went to a surprise birthday party for a friend and there were a lot of really cute little kids there--pretty much all under the age of 5. My girls were both teaming up against me since Mike was at his school orientation in El Paso. So I have these little tweens (K is almost 11 and L is 12 years) giving me the cold shoulder, drawing the imaginary line in the sand, pushing the limits, testing me. These moms were dealing with temper tantrums, biting, hitting, "no's" and everything else that is exhausting at that age. Last night I wanted to go back to that stage of parenting. Sometimes, (maybe most times) I just don't feel equipped to deal with this stuff. I feel like I will lose it and say something that they will remember and it will scar them for life. Or worse, they will say "I don't ever want to be like my mom."
It is not that I want to be their best friend--not in the least. But I do want to be a godly mom. I want to be filled with the Holy Spirit and parent out of that--not out of self--because that is when I blow it. Parenting is humbling, that is for sure.
I started reading a book called "Unglued" by Lisa Terkeurst. It is about making wise choices in the midst of raw emotions. Wise choices--stay calm, don't yell, don't let what I am thinking come out of my lips when I am angry, don't be sarcastic.
I am very excited about this book--it is perfectly timed for me. As a reminder of why I need to read this book, I became unglued about 5 pages into it--yup--UNGLUED. As I was getting into this state of being I was even aware of it--UGH!
Not everything has been in disarray! I have also been writing out the Psalms this summer. I am currently on Psalm 71 and it is a rich way to dig into God's word. I have picked up on so many things that I just skimmed over or never even really read. It is amazing how God's Word speaks. It is alive and active.
Hebrews 4: 12 For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.
I started working at my old job with Baptist and love it!! It is in the quality department and right now my big project is the mortality review. I have to answer the question: Could this patient have survived this hospitalization? 100% of the deaths have to be reviewed. Having ER and hospice experience has come in handy!
I don't want to close this without saying that I absolutely love my girls and their daddy from the bottom of my heart. My prayer for them is that they love the Lord with ALL of their hearts and they follow hard after Him. My prayer for me is that I am the mother and the wife that God wants me to be, that I am daily filled with His Spirit so that I can do this parenting and marriage thing and at the end hear the words "Well done good and faithful servant."
And now it is nearing the end of August, school has started for the girls and for Mike and July totally flew by.
I just want to get this out: My girls are tweens and are driving me to the edge. Lord, help me.
Emotions, hormones, attitudes (and those are just mine--hehe). Not really, mine have been stable for a while and having the hysterectomy did not affect them at all--just don't ask Mike, he may have another opinion :-) I am ecstatically happy that I don't have to mess with all those female issues!
Last night we went to a surprise birthday party for a friend and there were a lot of really cute little kids there--pretty much all under the age of 5. My girls were both teaming up against me since Mike was at his school orientation in El Paso. So I have these little tweens (K is almost 11 and L is 12 years) giving me the cold shoulder, drawing the imaginary line in the sand, pushing the limits, testing me. These moms were dealing with temper tantrums, biting, hitting, "no's" and everything else that is exhausting at that age. Last night I wanted to go back to that stage of parenting. Sometimes, (maybe most times) I just don't feel equipped to deal with this stuff. I feel like I will lose it and say something that they will remember and it will scar them for life. Or worse, they will say "I don't ever want to be like my mom."
It is not that I want to be their best friend--not in the least. But I do want to be a godly mom. I want to be filled with the Holy Spirit and parent out of that--not out of self--because that is when I blow it. Parenting is humbling, that is for sure.
I started reading a book called "Unglued" by Lisa Terkeurst. It is about making wise choices in the midst of raw emotions. Wise choices--stay calm, don't yell, don't let what I am thinking come out of my lips when I am angry, don't be sarcastic.
I am very excited about this book--it is perfectly timed for me. As a reminder of why I need to read this book, I became unglued about 5 pages into it--yup--UNGLUED. As I was getting into this state of being I was even aware of it--UGH!
Not everything has been in disarray! I have also been writing out the Psalms this summer. I am currently on Psalm 71 and it is a rich way to dig into God's word. I have picked up on so many things that I just skimmed over or never even really read. It is amazing how God's Word speaks. It is alive and active.
Hebrews 4: 12 For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.
I started working at my old job with Baptist and love it!! It is in the quality department and right now my big project is the mortality review. I have to answer the question: Could this patient have survived this hospitalization? 100% of the deaths have to be reviewed. Having ER and hospice experience has come in handy!
I don't want to close this without saying that I absolutely love my girls and their daddy from the bottom of my heart. My prayer for them is that they love the Lord with ALL of their hearts and they follow hard after Him. My prayer for me is that I am the mother and the wife that God wants me to be, that I am daily filled with His Spirit so that I can do this parenting and marriage thing and at the end hear the words "Well done good and faithful servant."
Saturday, June 30, 2012
June Pictures
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| Lisa, "Austin" and Katie In Port Aransas at some chanel to the bay with Uncle Gary, Aunt Becky, "Austin" and "Addison" |
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| Lisa wanted to fish soooo bad. They caught some (and kept cool while fishing) The dogs LOVED to fish also--it was a challenge to throw the line in the water without the dogs going after it. The tide was up, so where the fishing bucket is sitting, normally that is a beachy area. |
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| Arianna. We met the Goff family at the beach on Friday evening. We grilled out on the beach, did some fishing, swimming, made some smores visited and had a great time. It was such a relaxing evening. |
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| Brandon, Marissa, Candy Goff and our Lisa (Brandon is married to a Lisa--and I was so blessed to get time to talk to her!) |
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| Our spot on the beach. It had been high tide and we risked it. But it was worth it. We had an awesome time and nobody came and parked next to us. The place where everybody else was parked was trashy and loud. I was a tad disappointed at first, but then we found this little spot down the beach a ways. Thank you Lord. |
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| "We" grilled veggies, steak, hot dogs and sausage. You can see who did the actual grilling :) |
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| Earlier this month Binxy got attacked by a coyote. It was very traumatic for the girls. He made a miraculous recovery without the vet. Just two nurses and two girls who did research on caring for an injured cat. |
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| Father's Day at the Hover's. Here is Katie helping Jillian fill her cup up. Jillian then used her newly learned skill and filled up all the plastic cups to the brim and overflowing while we were outside eating. She even lined them up in a row. Good Times! |
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| I had surgery and could not do yard work for 6 weeks. Lisa mowed the lawn. Just for the record, I made her stop and go put other shoes on. |
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| Aunt Helen and Grandmother Wells in D'Hanis at the little reunion Grandmother hosted at little John's place. Relatives from the Plano area came down for the weekend and we got to visit. |
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Enough
I have had those mommy days when right out of the gate the girls are fighting and I didn't get a chance to have my quiet time and the filling of the Holy Spirit was not evident in my words at that moment. It isn't bad words that flow freely from my mouth, just the tone and maybe the amplitude (i.e. yelling).
I hate when I do that.
My mom used to yell at me and Cindy (and the neighbor kids or cousins). It wasn't necessarily the loudness of her voice, but the mean tone. I can yell to get over the volume of the kids and the tone is friendly or I can yell when I am impatient and losing it. I always felt like my mom was impatient.
Devotion 2 from Out of the Spin Cycle by Jen Hatmaker is titled My Kids Are Headed to Therapy.
Matt 10:25 "It is enough for the student to be like his teacher," Jesus said.
Will I ever be enough as a mom? When the student becomes like her teacher, our failures and omissions as moms recede as the sweet spirit of Jesus covers our humanity.....It is enough for me to show patience when I want to stick my fingers in my ears and scream like a toddler. It is enough to choose mercy when they've made the same mistake yet again. It is enough to imitate my Christ, who never jumped through conventional hoops but transformed the trajectory of history through grace and sacrifice....You are enough as a mother when you act like your Redeemer...when you talk like he talked, love like he loved, forgive like he forgave, and teach like he taught. pg 18-19.
Question: As a mom, does the goal of becoming like your teacher feel like enough?
Why yes it does, because it seems like a simple goal, but yet it is unattainable if I am not filled with my Teacher. How I pray to be filled with Him. I don't want to be a bad mom. I don't want to make the same mistakes my parents did (I can make new ones :-). Oh how I pray for my legacy to be one my girls want to imitate.
Psalm 19:14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.
I hate when I do that.
My mom used to yell at me and Cindy (and the neighbor kids or cousins). It wasn't necessarily the loudness of her voice, but the mean tone. I can yell to get over the volume of the kids and the tone is friendly or I can yell when I am impatient and losing it. I always felt like my mom was impatient.
Devotion 2 from Out of the Spin Cycle by Jen Hatmaker is titled My Kids Are Headed to Therapy.
Matt 10:25 "It is enough for the student to be like his teacher," Jesus said.
Will I ever be enough as a mom? When the student becomes like her teacher, our failures and omissions as moms recede as the sweet spirit of Jesus covers our humanity.....It is enough for me to show patience when I want to stick my fingers in my ears and scream like a toddler. It is enough to choose mercy when they've made the same mistake yet again. It is enough to imitate my Christ, who never jumped through conventional hoops but transformed the trajectory of history through grace and sacrifice....You are enough as a mother when you act like your Redeemer...when you talk like he talked, love like he loved, forgive like he forgave, and teach like he taught. pg 18-19.
Question: As a mom, does the goal of becoming like your teacher feel like enough?
Why yes it does, because it seems like a simple goal, but yet it is unattainable if I am not filled with my Teacher. How I pray to be filled with Him. I don't want to be a bad mom. I don't want to make the same mistakes my parents did (I can make new ones :-). Oh how I pray for my legacy to be one my girls want to imitate.
Psalm 19:14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Authenticity
I am reading a light devotional that I think will allow me to journal here on the blog. It is by Jen Hatmaker and the title is Out of the Spin Cycle. I recently read her book Seven: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess and it has changed my thinking in so many areas.
I ran across this devotional and bought it for one of my good friends Jenni. I read some of it before I gave it to her and thought how fun this would be to do with her. She has 6 year old twins and a 2 year old firecracker. Her husband is really good friends with Mike and they are so fun to hang out with. I have been learning lately how important it is to surround myself with girlfriends who have the same values that I do. God has definitely blessed me with some really neat ladies in my life.
There is a marriage crisis going on in friends life-- this couple used to be in our marriage small group and I reached out to her and she basically said no thanks. Which is fine, but she is saying "no thanks" to all of the people in her life who are giving her biblical advice (pastors, counselor). She wants to throw her marriage down the drain for selfish reasons. She is surrounding herself with people who tell her she should live for herself. She is not thinking of her three young children. It is breaking mine and Mike's heart. This friend is pretty close to Jenni and Jenni has been seeking my counsel as she gently maneuvers this situation.
Which finally brings me to getting this devotional--to not shut ourselves off from the godly friends in our lives. To walk this walk together. We need each other. Not to take the place of our spouses, but to grow and laugh and live life together as women who want to be godly wives and mothers and friends.
I was so happy to find this devotional that made me laugh. It is so real.
Day 1: I'm Perfect and My Kids Never Fight
Matthew 23:5-7
5“Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; 6 they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; 7 they love to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces and to be called ‘Rabbi’ by others.
Jen writes: When we operate from the central concern of being seen a certain way, we can't develop healthy relationships in the messy soil of reality--the only place they'll grow. Presenting a perfect, fake life to others generates fear in our own hearts and intimidation in everyone else's, and creates nice, fake relationships--with our friends, with our family members, even with our own children. pg 15
Authenticity. Transparency. It is vital in our relationships. The friend whose marriage is falling apart has everything the world sees as success. She is a doctor, has a beautiful home, 3 healthy children, has a nanny and maid, is involved in MOPS, her husband is involved at church and wants their marriage to work. She had this front for all of us to see but says she has been unhappy for two years. It was all about appearances to her. Her life was falling apart, but she gave the appearance that she had it all together. I pray for her to be fulfilled by the One who is meant to fill the void she is filling with worldly values, for her heart to soften towards her husband and Jesus. I also pray for us to be authentic, truthful, transparent, real, to be the same person on the outside that we are on the inside. To allow Jesus to redeem and transform us.
Jen's questions from the devotional:
Do you have a struggle, doubt, temptation, or crisis no one knows about--big or small?
What is the primary reason you haven't told anyone?
Mike knows what I struggle with. As do a couple of my closest friends. Insecurity. I am a people pleaser at heart. I get my feelings hurt easy. Working on it, working on it!!
I ran across this devotional and bought it for one of my good friends Jenni. I read some of it before I gave it to her and thought how fun this would be to do with her. She has 6 year old twins and a 2 year old firecracker. Her husband is really good friends with Mike and they are so fun to hang out with. I have been learning lately how important it is to surround myself with girlfriends who have the same values that I do. God has definitely blessed me with some really neat ladies in my life.
There is a marriage crisis going on in friends life-- this couple used to be in our marriage small group and I reached out to her and she basically said no thanks. Which is fine, but she is saying "no thanks" to all of the people in her life who are giving her biblical advice (pastors, counselor). She wants to throw her marriage down the drain for selfish reasons. She is surrounding herself with people who tell her she should live for herself. She is not thinking of her three young children. It is breaking mine and Mike's heart. This friend is pretty close to Jenni and Jenni has been seeking my counsel as she gently maneuvers this situation.
Which finally brings me to getting this devotional--to not shut ourselves off from the godly friends in our lives. To walk this walk together. We need each other. Not to take the place of our spouses, but to grow and laugh and live life together as women who want to be godly wives and mothers and friends.
I was so happy to find this devotional that made me laugh. It is so real.
Day 1: I'm Perfect and My Kids Never Fight
Matthew 23:5-7
5“Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; 6 they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; 7 they love to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces and to be called ‘Rabbi’ by others.
Jen writes: When we operate from the central concern of being seen a certain way, we can't develop healthy relationships in the messy soil of reality--the only place they'll grow. Presenting a perfect, fake life to others generates fear in our own hearts and intimidation in everyone else's, and creates nice, fake relationships--with our friends, with our family members, even with our own children. pg 15
Authenticity. Transparency. It is vital in our relationships. The friend whose marriage is falling apart has everything the world sees as success. She is a doctor, has a beautiful home, 3 healthy children, has a nanny and maid, is involved in MOPS, her husband is involved at church and wants their marriage to work. She had this front for all of us to see but says she has been unhappy for two years. It was all about appearances to her. Her life was falling apart, but she gave the appearance that she had it all together. I pray for her to be fulfilled by the One who is meant to fill the void she is filling with worldly values, for her heart to soften towards her husband and Jesus. I also pray for us to be authentic, truthful, transparent, real, to be the same person on the outside that we are on the inside. To allow Jesus to redeem and transform us.
Jen's questions from the devotional:
Do you have a struggle, doubt, temptation, or crisis no one knows about--big or small?
What is the primary reason you haven't told anyone?
Mike knows what I struggle with. As do a couple of my closest friends. Insecurity. I am a people pleaser at heart. I get my feelings hurt easy. Working on it, working on it!!
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