What drives you crazy?

Got this idea from Jen Hatmaker.  Her blog is titled "Not a Fan" and it is about things that drive you crazy in this first-world country.

Here is my list:

-Party favors:  When I was young and had a birthday party (which I ALWAYS had to share with Cindy...of course she can say she ALWAYS had to share with me because we are 3 years and 1 WEEK apart), we just had the family over, maybe a friend or two (who were usually sisters themselves) bar-b-qued, had cake and called it a party.  No gift bags.  Who thought of giving gift bags? I mean really, the kids come to a party you are paying for and then you give them a gift for coming?  Isn't that bribery?  So do you write a thank you note or not?  Should they write a thank you note?    :-)    Now that the girls are older, we get them something they really need or want--maybe an outfit or good running shoes, a fish aquarium...then we go out to eat at a restaurant they pick, like IHOP or some other top- notch, nothing-says "Happy- Birthday- to- you- like a buy one get one free" establishment.  Maybe a friend will spend the night--or not.  (We are not into sleep overs.  Stomach bugs, lice, no sleep, too much junk food....ehhh, not our thing.)

-The smell of play dough:  Enough said.

-Smacking when eating.  I cannot concentrate on anything else if there is a smacker in my presence.  Or a slurper.  If I slurp when I drink something hot, I drive myself crazy!!

-Our  house is a Sprint cell phone dead zone:  Only one tower inside---why?  They can communicate with the Mars Rover in outer space, but for some reason we get dropped calls inside our home.


That pretty much sums it up today.  Tomorrow there may something else.  :-) 

What drives you crazy?

Parenting Tween Girls

I have been meaning to get on here and type what is up--but alas, time has gotten away from me.
And now it is nearing the end of August, school has started for the girls and for Mike and July totally flew by.

I just want to get this out:  My girls are tweens and are driving me to the edge.  Lord, help me.

Emotions, hormones, attitudes (and those are just mine--hehe).  Not really, mine have been stable for a while and having the hysterectomy did not affect them at all--just don't ask Mike, he may have another opinion :-)   I am ecstatically happy that I don't have to mess with all those female issues!

Last night we went to a surprise birthday party for a friend and there were a lot of really cute little kids there--pretty much all under the age of 5.  My girls were both teaming up against me since Mike was at his school orientation in El Paso.  So I have these little tweens (K is almost 11 and L is 12 years) giving me the cold shoulder, drawing the imaginary line in the sand, pushing the limits, testing me.  These moms were dealing with temper tantrums, biting, hitting, "no's" and everything else that is exhausting at that age.  Last night I wanted to go back to that stage of parenting. Sometimes, (maybe most times) I just don't feel equipped to deal with this stuff.  I feel like I will lose it and say something that they will remember and it will scar them for life.  Or worse, they will say "I don't ever want to be like my mom."

It is not that I want to be their best friend--not in the least.  But I do want to be a godly mom.  I want to be filled with the Holy Spirit and parent out of that--not out of self--because that is when I blow it.  Parenting is humbling, that is for sure. 

I started reading a book called "Unglued" by Lisa Terkeurst.  It is about making wise choices in the midst of raw emotions.  Wise choices--stay calm, don't yell, don't let what I am thinking come out of my lips when I am angry, don't be sarcastic.

I am very excited about this book--it is perfectly timed for me.  As a reminder of why I need to read this book,  I became unglued about 5 pages into it--yup--UNGLUED.  As I was getting into this state of being I was even aware of it--UGH!

Not everything has been in disarray!  I have also been writing out the Psalms this summer.  I am currently on Psalm 71 and it is a rich way to dig into God's word.  I have picked up on so many things that I just skimmed over or never even really read.  It is amazing how God's Word speaks.  It is alive and active. 

Hebrews 4: 12  For the word of God is living and active.  Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

I started working at my old job with Baptist and love it!!  It is in the quality department and right now my big project is the mortality review.  I have to answer the question:  Could this patient have survived this hospitalization?  100% of the deaths have to be reviewed.  Having ER and hospice experience has come in handy!

I don't want to close this without saying that I absolutely love my girls and their daddy from the bottom of my heart.  My prayer for them is that they love the Lord with ALL of their hearts and they follow hard after Him.  My prayer for me is that I am the mother and the wife that God wants me to be, that I am daily filled with His Spirit so that I can do this parenting and marriage thing and at the end hear the words "Well done good and faithful servant."

June Pictures

Lisa, "Austin" and Katie
In Port Aransas at some chanel to the bay with Uncle Gary, Aunt Becky,
 "Austin" and "Addison"



Lisa wanted to fish soooo bad.  They caught some (and kept cool while fishing)
The dogs LOVED to fish also--it was a challenge to throw the line in the water without the dogs going after it.
The tide was up, so where the fishing bucket is sitting, normally that is a beachy area.





Arianna.  We met the Goff family at the beach on Friday evening.
We grilled out on the beach, did some fishing, swimming, made some smores
visited and had a great time.  It was such a relaxing evening. 




Brandon, Marissa, Candy Goff and our Lisa
(Brandon is married to a Lisa--and I was so blessed to get time to talk to her!)



Our spot on the beach.  It had been high tide and we risked it.
But it was worth it.  We had an awesome time and nobody came and parked next to us.
The place where everybody else was parked was trashy and loud.  I was a tad disappointed at first,
but then we found this little spot down the beach a ways.  Thank you Lord.



"We" grilled veggies, steak, hot dogs and sausage. 
You can see who did the actual grilling :)




Earlier this month Binxy got attacked by a coyote.  It was very traumatic for the girls.
He made a miraculous recovery without the vet.  Just two nurses and two
girls who did research on caring for an injured cat.




Father's Day at the Hover's. 
Here is Katie helping Jillian fill her cup up.
Jillian then used her newly learned skill and filled up all the plastic cups
to the brim and overflowing while we were outside eating.  She even lined them up in a row.
Good Times!





I had surgery and could not do yard work for 6 weeks.  Lisa mowed the lawn.
Just for the record, I made her stop and go put other shoes on. 





Aunt Helen and Grandmother Wells in D'Hanis at the little reunion
Grandmother hosted at little John's place.  Relatives from the Plano area
came down for the weekend and we got to visit.



Enough

I have had those mommy days  when right out of the gate the girls are fighting and I didn't get a chance to have my quiet time and the filling of the Holy Spirit was not evident in my words at that moment.  It isn't bad words that flow freely from my mouth, just the tone and maybe the amplitude (i.e. yelling).

I hate when I do that. 

My mom used to yell at me and Cindy (and the neighbor kids or cousins).  It wasn't necessarily the loudness of her voice, but the mean tone.  I can yell to get over the volume of the kids and the tone is friendly or I can yell when I am impatient and losing it.  I always felt like my mom was impatient.

Devotion 2 from Out of the Spin Cycle by Jen Hatmaker is titled My Kids Are Headed to Therapy. 

Matt 10:25 "It is enough for the student to be like his teacher," Jesus said.

Will I ever be enough as a mom?  When the student becomes like her teacher, our failures and omissions as moms recede as the sweet spirit of Jesus covers our humanity.....It is enough for me to show patience when I want to stick my fingers in my ears and scream like a toddler. It is enough to choose mercy when they've made the same mistake yet again.  It is enough to imitate my Christ, who never jumped through conventional hoops but transformed the trajectory of history through grace and sacrifice....You are enough as a mother when you act like your Redeemer...when you talk like he talked, love like he loved, forgive like he forgave, and teach like he taught.   pg 18-19.

Question:  As a mom, does the goal of becoming like your teacher feel like enough?

Why yes it does, because it seems like a simple goal, but yet it is unattainable if I am not filled with my Teacher.  How I pray to be filled with Him.  I don't want to be a bad mom.  I don't want to make the same mistakes my parents did (I can make new ones :-).  Oh how I pray for my legacy to be one my girls want to imitate. 

Psalm 19:14  May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Authenticity

I am reading a light devotional that I think will allow me to journal here on the blog.  It is by Jen Hatmaker and the title is Out of the Spin Cycle.  I recently read her book Seven: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess and it has changed my thinking in so many areas. 

I ran across this devotional and bought it for one of my good friends Jenni.  I read some of it before I gave it to her and thought how fun this would be to do with her.  She has 6 year old twins and a 2 year old firecracker.  Her husband is really good friends with Mike and they are so fun to hang out with.  I have been learning lately how important it is to surround myself with girlfriends who have the same values that I do.  God has definitely blessed me with some really neat ladies in my life. 

There is a marriage crisis going on in friends life-- this couple used to be in our marriage small group and I reached out to her and she basically said no thanks.  Which is fine, but she is saying "no thanks" to all of the people in her life who are giving her biblical advice (pastors, counselor).  She wants to throw her marriage down the drain for selfish reasons.  She is surrounding herself with people who tell her she should live for herself.  She is not thinking of her three young children.  It is breaking mine and Mike's heart.  This friend is pretty close to Jenni and Jenni has been seeking my counsel as she gently maneuvers this situation.

Which finally brings me to getting this devotional--to not shut ourselves off from the godly friends in our lives.  To walk this walk together.  We need each other.  Not to take the place of our spouses, but to grow and laugh and live life together as women who want to be godly wives and mothers and friends.
I was so happy to find this devotional that made me laugh.  It is so real.

Day 1:  I'm Perfect and My Kids Never Fight 

 Matthew 23:5-7

 5“Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; 6 they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; 7 they love to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces and to be called ‘Rabbi’ by others.

Jen writes:  When we operate from the central concern of being seen a certain way, we can't develop healthy relationships in the messy soil of reality--the only place they'll grow.  Presenting a perfect, fake life to others generates fear in our own hearts and intimidation in everyone else's, and creates nice, fake relationships--with our friends, with our family members, even with our own children.  pg 15


Authenticity.  Transparency.  It is vital in our relationships.  The friend whose marriage is falling apart has everything the world sees as success.  She is a doctor, has a beautiful home, 3 healthy children, has a nanny and maid, is involved in MOPS, her husband is involved at church and wants their marriage to work.  She had this front for all of us to see but says she has been unhappy for two years.  It was all about appearances to her.  Her life was falling apart, but she gave the appearance that she had it all together.  I pray for her to be fulfilled by the One who is meant to fill the void she is filling with worldly values, for her heart to soften towards her husband and Jesus.  I also pray for us to be authentic, truthful, transparent, real, to be the same person on the outside that we are on the inside.  To allow Jesus to redeem and transform us.

Jen's questions from the devotional:

Do you have a struggle, doubt, temptation, or crisis no one knows about--big or small?
What is the primary reason you haven't told anyone?

   Mike knows what I struggle with.  As do a couple of my closest friends.  Insecurity.  I am a people pleaser at heart.  I get my feelings hurt easy.  Working on it, working on it!!

Surgery, Car Seats and Birthday, Oh My!

                                                             Mother's Day 2012
                                                             I love these people!!

                                                     Lisa Micheal Ryan, 12 years old

I cannot believe that we have a 12 year old.  She can now sit in the front seat of a vehicle.  It seems like yesterday we were securing her into a car seat, then she could secure herself, then we didn't need a car seat or booster seat and now she can sit in the front. 
So funny how I compared her life to that of the use of the car seat.
But let me say this:  She is way more excited for the privilege to sit in the front seat than I ever remember being.  Probably because we didn't have these safety laws back when I was growing up.  She sat in the front seat on the way to school and it was strange to look over and see her sitting there, looking mature and pretty.  Then all I could think about was car accidents and is the front really very safe for her yet.  She does meet the height (as she is almost as tall as me) and weight (she is 84 pounds).  Just a mama thing I suppose.

Mike graduated with his BSN.  Going to start NP school in August at University of Texas in El Paso (UTEP).  I had a surprise graduation party for him and he was surprised.  I wanted to let him in on it many times, but so glad I didn't--him too--he told me we would have canceled it if he would have found out about it.  It was so neat to see him surrounded by the people who mean the most to him.  But he wanted to make sure that everybody knew that it wasn't him, but God who got him here.  For Sure!!

I had a total hysterectomy on May 22.  It was supposed to be laparscopic with 3 little incisions, but ended up with an abdominal incision.  We had been praying about this surgery and to be kept safe throughout the procedure.  My surgery was originally scheduled to be at 7am then they pushed it back to 9am.  I showed up promptly at 7, got all ready for my lap. hysterectomy.  My doctor finally came in at 10:10 and apologized for the first case taking so long.  No problem!  They finally came for me at 10:30.  That is all I remember.   I woke up at 5 pm in pain and freezing cold.  When my doctor got in she saw that my bladder was totally adhered to my uterus and that she was going to have issues.  She needed a urologist.  Well there "just happened to be one" available at that moment at the board in the department.  This doctor came in and worked on me for one hour to separate the bladder from the uterine wall, but they had to open me up. I am not having any bladder issues--praise the Lord for His mercies and His timing.  My surgery lasted 3 hours.  Mike said they probably didn't have a bear hugger on me to keep me warm in the OR, thinking it was going to be a quick procedure, and my core temp dropped.
I am so thankful that my friend Kathy who works at NCB was able to be with me in the recovery room and be my advocate--so thankful for my husband who knows what questions to ask and is not afraid to ask!  Most of all I am thankful for the protection of our Lord and Savior, for His healing hand and His love shown to me through the kindness of our family and friends.

A Slump and Seven

I have been in a little slump lately.  One of my co-workers took his life 2 weeks ago and leaves behind his beautiful wife and 3 little children ages 8, 6 and 4.  We have known them for over 15 years and I am just shocked.  There is so much to this story that runs deep, but what I have learned is that what you see on the outside as the "perfect" life can be completely broken on the inside. 

I  read a book "7-an experimental mutiny against excess" by Jen Hatmaker.  I must say I am convicted on many levels.  She did her own experiment of embarking on a journey of less--less food, clothes, possessions, media, waste, spending and stress.  She takes seven months, seven areas and reduces to 7 simple choices.  Seven food items, 7 clothing items, donates 7 things each day that month, ect.

It has made me very aware of all of the waste that my family and I do.  I went into my closet and looked at it full of clothes--many of which I wear the same items over and over and the rest is not touched.  But yet, I will continue to buy more because I want to.  It is definitely not a need--same with Lisa and Katie and Mike.  Something must change---and it has to be me.

I looked at our pantry.  Full of food.  We never go to bed hungry or wonder where our next meal is coming from ( unless we are going out to eat:-)  We are indeed blessed and take for granted all that we do have, while there are children going to bed hungry here in my own city...not to mention those little ones starving on the other side of the world.  I can't just say "we sponsor 3 children and give to Kiva and Food for the Poor and Samaritan's Purse".  I don't know what I am supposed to do right now, but God is stirring in me something.  One thing I have done is use up more of our pantry stuff and food in the freezer before going to the store--except for milk and fresh fruits and veggies.  We are really good at eating left-overs.  I love left-overs since it means I don't have to cook--"It's left-overs tonight!!!"

It has made me ponder on what to cut out or cut back on.  I want to live more simply and fill the excess with Jesus.  I am praying about what I will do.  For food, and I have done this before, I will cut out white products,processed foods and sweets.  I did this for 2 months back in the fall and I had so much more energy and felt great.  I am not sure if I could eat only 7 foods like Jen did.  However, her foods were very doable.  They were eggs, chicken, avocado, whole-wheat bread, spinach, sweet potatoes and apples and only water to drink, salt and pepper and olive oil.


Switching gears.

I wanted to share something from The Truth Project blog that has inspired me.  Dr Del Tacket was writing in response to the recent death of Chuck Colson, a leader and Christ follower.  He said that many people were talking about how we are losing all of the great Christian leaders.  But are we to sit around and wait for another leader to arise and tell us what to do, are we incapable of action.  He said at Pentecost, God's Spirit fell on all of the believers, not just the leaders.

You have everything you need to fulfill the call of God in your life. Be excellent in your vocational call. Be fruitful in your ministerial call. Be a great Dad. Be a great Mom. Be a great son or daughter, sister, brother. Love God. Love one another. Love you neighbor. Walk blamelessly before God and men. Live in such a way that your neighbor asks you why you have such hope. Prepare yourself to answer that question. Be light in a dark world. Be salt in a sick culture.



So let's see how this goes. 

I want less of me and my wants and more of Jesus.