It is the end of October already and it seems like life is rolling by at lightning speed.
Lisa's cross country was fantastic. Except she didn't like the practices...they were in the afternoon and it was pretty hot...understandable. The first meet was not good. She ran an 8 minute mile then she had a meltdown. The rest went remarkably well. The district meet was this past Saturday and she came in 5th place out of 70 girls. She is a 5th grader on the 8th grade team. Her team placed 2nd for district. We are so proud of her and of the team. One of the neatest moments came before the this last meet. Lisa was in the crowd of girls getting ready to run and I glanced over and there she was squatting down, head bent, hands folded. It looked like she was praying. After the race she mentioned how she prayed before the race. Yay God!! I am so glad to witness what she did in the midst of everybody.
Katie's soccer team has tied 2 games and lost all of the others. She is still having fun at the games, but she also does not like the practices. This is where we are learning about teamwork and sacrificing to be on a team. It is not all fun and games, but also a lot work, sweat and a few tears. For soccer it is also about the snack after the game too. :-)
Both girls are doing good in school. A/B's for both. 5th grade is hard but it is to prepare Lisa for middle school next year. WHAT???? Middle School. It seems like just yesterday we were going to MOPS and mother's day out. Now we are wearing training bras and learning to be at home by ourselves. I cannot imagine giving the keys to the car and letting her go, but I know that is not too far away.
So where do I see myself as a mom?
On a fine line:
Of fierce protection from evil and all things bad to letting them experience hurt and consequences.
Of monitoring their friendships and teaching them how to be a good friend and helping them to spot the not so good friendships.
Of experiencing the hurt of when they have been offended by someone and of the painful realization of when they have been the offender.
Of giving a lot of grace and knowing when I am being manipulated.
Of humbling myself when I have lost it--and it does happen from time to time
Of praying, praying, praying.
Of being one with Mike on all things parenting. Not to mention letting the girls know that I love their daddy and see the love and service on a daily basis.
Of making sure that I am right with God everyday, continuing to deepen my walk with Jesus and humbly seeking His grace, mercy and wisdom for this thing called life.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
What's been happening around here.
1. I have officially started volunteering in the NICU.
2. Lisa had her first cross country track meet yesterday. She is one of 3 fifth graders on her team. They run fifth through eighth grade at the same time. Girls first then the boys. She ran her first mile in 8:10 and then had a major meltdown. It was all in her mind though because we go three miles at Eisenhaur Park. She has only had one practice due to the heat, so I think it will get better. She really is a natural at running and we will encourage her with her God-given abilities.
3. Katie started soccer yesterday. She is thrilled to be on the same team as her buddies.
4. Mike will finish his BSN by the end of May. ? NP school. He has so much on his plate with school full-time and working full-time.
5. The wildfires around here are pretty scary. It is so dry and we are in desperate need of lots of rain. Lord, in your mercy, hear our prayers. Yesterday there was a pretty big one about 5 miles from us. It made me think of what I would take if we had to evacuate: Kids, pets, bible, pillow and toothbrush. Mike's attitude is "It's all stuff." True. He said he would take his phone and laptop. It was pretty surreal yesterday when an afternoon fire started and I thought about the people who didn't get a chance to get their stuff. Thankfully they got to return to their homes a couple of hours later.
6. BSF starts on Tuesday: The Acts of the Apostles. Lots of study on Paul. We are very excited.
7. I am leading a discussion group at church for A Heart Like His. I have 6 ladies in my group and it is a very good study. I did this study on David 11 years ago by Beth Moore. It has been revised and updated. It is so cool to look back in my book back then--Lisa was an infant--and see how God has been with us, what was on my heart then and what is on my heart now.
8. God is truly working on my heart as I stay at home and do volunteer work. I am learning that there is a difference in appeasing God and pleasing God. I am also learning to desire to be with God instead of Him being with me--if that makes sense. That was huge to me a couple of days ago. My prayer is to be where God is--whether I am at home, school, church, hospital.
2. Lisa had her first cross country track meet yesterday. She is one of 3 fifth graders on her team. They run fifth through eighth grade at the same time. Girls first then the boys. She ran her first mile in 8:10 and then had a major meltdown. It was all in her mind though because we go three miles at Eisenhaur Park. She has only had one practice due to the heat, so I think it will get better. She really is a natural at running and we will encourage her with her God-given abilities.
3. Katie started soccer yesterday. She is thrilled to be on the same team as her buddies.
4. Mike will finish his BSN by the end of May. ? NP school. He has so much on his plate with school full-time and working full-time.
5. The wildfires around here are pretty scary. It is so dry and we are in desperate need of lots of rain. Lord, in your mercy, hear our prayers. Yesterday there was a pretty big one about 5 miles from us. It made me think of what I would take if we had to evacuate: Kids, pets, bible, pillow and toothbrush. Mike's attitude is "It's all stuff." True. He said he would take his phone and laptop. It was pretty surreal yesterday when an afternoon fire started and I thought about the people who didn't get a chance to get their stuff. Thankfully they got to return to their homes a couple of hours later.
6. BSF starts on Tuesday: The Acts of the Apostles. Lots of study on Paul. We are very excited.
7. I am leading a discussion group at church for A Heart Like His. I have 6 ladies in my group and it is a very good study. I did this study on David 11 years ago by Beth Moore. It has been revised and updated. It is so cool to look back in my book back then--Lisa was an infant--and see how God has been with us, what was on my heart then and what is on my heart now.
8. God is truly working on my heart as I stay at home and do volunteer work. I am learning that there is a difference in appeasing God and pleasing God. I am also learning to desire to be with God instead of Him being with me--if that makes sense. That was huge to me a couple of days ago. My prayer is to be where God is--whether I am at home, school, church, hospital.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Bringing Shalom to Others
I was doing my RVL Bible study and learned something that is awesome.
This study is about walking with God in the desert. The deserts in our lives which we have been through, are going through or will go through. The session I am on is When Your Heart Cries Out.
I am learning about how God gives us and promises us shalom ( the restoration of harmony and peace God desires) in our deserts. One way He provides this is through people.
Here is an excerpt:
"Job was a righteous man who trusted God, and because of that experienced a flood of terribly painful disasters. During those trials, Job did not renounce his faith in the Lord as Satan had desired, but he certainly longed for relief, understanding, comfort, and encouragement. For a long time, God seemed to offer Job nothing--no deliverance, no explanation--so his God-fearing friends came to comfort him." pg 186.
What kind of comfort did his friends bring? Job 6:14-17 gives insight. They were "as undependable as intermittent steams..."
What do I think Job hoped his friends would be to him, and what might I have hoped for if I were in Job's situation? That they would bring some encouragement, a little comfort.
What do I think God would have desired for Job? I believe that God would want Job's friends to be the shalom in his desert. Encourage, refreshing, comforting.
This is what my light bulb moment was: God knows the rest of the story!! He knows what is going on in the heavens. Job didn't know there was war going on for his soul. He remained faithful to God.
When I look back on desert experiences that we have been through, I did receive God's peace and comfort through friends/people God had put in our lives. I will continue to pray for us to be like streams of water in the desert for others.
This study is about walking with God in the desert. The deserts in our lives which we have been through, are going through or will go through. The session I am on is When Your Heart Cries Out.
I am learning about how God gives us and promises us shalom ( the restoration of harmony and peace God desires) in our deserts. One way He provides this is through people.
Here is an excerpt:
"Job was a righteous man who trusted God, and because of that experienced a flood of terribly painful disasters. During those trials, Job did not renounce his faith in the Lord as Satan had desired, but he certainly longed for relief, understanding, comfort, and encouragement. For a long time, God seemed to offer Job nothing--no deliverance, no explanation--so his God-fearing friends came to comfort him." pg 186.
What kind of comfort did his friends bring? Job 6:14-17 gives insight. They were "as undependable as intermittent steams..."
What do I think Job hoped his friends would be to him, and what might I have hoped for if I were in Job's situation? That they would bring some encouragement, a little comfort.
What do I think God would have desired for Job? I believe that God would want Job's friends to be the shalom in his desert. Encourage, refreshing, comforting.
This is what my light bulb moment was: God knows the rest of the story!! He knows what is going on in the heavens. Job didn't know there was war going on for his soul. He remained faithful to God.
When I look back on desert experiences that we have been through, I did receive God's peace and comfort through friends/people God had put in our lives. I will continue to pray for us to be like streams of water in the desert for others.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
College and Insurance
We took a little family vacation to Rusk, Tx to a KOA campground. It was nice to have a change of scenery. We got to see the pine trees of East Texas. We also got to see how this drought is indeed affecting so many people. Please Lord, open up the skies and send rain to this parched land.
On the way up to our lodge we went through College Station, so we drove around Texas A&M to show the girls. A few months ago Katie came up to me and said, "Mom, I want to go to ATM for college." I said, "You mean A & M?". She said "yes, but it says ATM." Too funny. So as we were driving up there, I was thinking how in just a few short years, one or both of our girls could be driving these same roads to go to school. Then I was looking at how dangerous these roads could be, how far it is from home (I know there are further schools---), how they will be living on there own and be making decisions that can affect them for the rest of their lives, how we have them for such a short time. But then I thought of the excitement of going to college, to further education, to see what doors God opens up for them. I will pray, pray, pray for these little ones, for their future spouses, for them to desire God above all.
We returned and in mail was a lovely bill from the hospital for $820. It is what I am responsible from when I went to the ER for strep throat back in June. Wow. Must be an error. I called our insurance company and it is not an error. The hospital charged the insurance company $3800 for IV fluids, IV medication and the use of the ER. $2000 of it for being triaged. I was pretty upset. I used to work in the ER...I know what a nurse makes, I know what a doctor makes. I understand the cost of running a hospital, but please...I called the billing department and they offered me 15% off immediately. This is why our healthcare in the US is going downhill so fast. It shouldn't cost this much to be in the ER for ONE HOUR...no labs, no x-ray. I was dehydrated and needed IV fluid, it was Sunday, my doctor's office was closed. Also, I had been to an urgent care clinic earlier that week and the antibiotic they prescribed did not work.
My issue with the insurance and hospital is that I am not good at confrontation or negotiating. I get defensive and my tone of voice can be less than pleasant when dealing with these people. I had to be reminded this morning before I called that I serve the Lord. I prayed when I was doing my Bible Study for God to open my eyes for something because I was dreading having to deal with this stuff. He did. It was 2 Kings 3: 14 when Elisha said "As surely as the Lord Almighty lives, whom I serve...." That spoke to me. Since I serve the Lord, my tone of voice better be of one who serves the Lord. It ended up being a nice lady in the billing department who is going to send me an itemized bill of the ER visit, then we will negotiate a little bit, possibly confront a little and then we will pay what is due.
On the way up to our lodge we went through College Station, so we drove around Texas A&M to show the girls. A few months ago Katie came up to me and said, "Mom, I want to go to ATM for college." I said, "You mean A & M?". She said "yes, but it says ATM." Too funny. So as we were driving up there, I was thinking how in just a few short years, one or both of our girls could be driving these same roads to go to school. Then I was looking at how dangerous these roads could be, how far it is from home (I know there are further schools---), how they will be living on there own and be making decisions that can affect them for the rest of their lives, how we have them for such a short time. But then I thought of the excitement of going to college, to further education, to see what doors God opens up for them. I will pray, pray, pray for these little ones, for their future spouses, for them to desire God above all.
We returned and in mail was a lovely bill from the hospital for $820. It is what I am responsible from when I went to the ER for strep throat back in June. Wow. Must be an error. I called our insurance company and it is not an error. The hospital charged the insurance company $3800 for IV fluids, IV medication and the use of the ER. $2000 of it for being triaged. I was pretty upset. I used to work in the ER...I know what a nurse makes, I know what a doctor makes. I understand the cost of running a hospital, but please...I called the billing department and they offered me 15% off immediately. This is why our healthcare in the US is going downhill so fast. It shouldn't cost this much to be in the ER for ONE HOUR...no labs, no x-ray. I was dehydrated and needed IV fluid, it was Sunday, my doctor's office was closed. Also, I had been to an urgent care clinic earlier that week and the antibiotic they prescribed did not work.
My issue with the insurance and hospital is that I am not good at confrontation or negotiating. I get defensive and my tone of voice can be less than pleasant when dealing with these people. I had to be reminded this morning before I called that I serve the Lord. I prayed when I was doing my Bible Study for God to open my eyes for something because I was dreading having to deal with this stuff. He did. It was 2 Kings 3: 14 when Elisha said "As surely as the Lord Almighty lives, whom I serve...." That spoke to me. Since I serve the Lord, my tone of voice better be of one who serves the Lord. It ended up being a nice lady in the billing department who is going to send me an itemized bill of the ER visit, then we will negotiate a little bit, possibly confront a little and then we will pay what is due.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Emotionally Challenging Summer Read
I am reading a book called Half the Sky. It is really opening my eyes to social injustice for women around the world. It is making me cry out to God, please come back today. He must cry when He sees how evil people can be. Then I look at my girls and wonder what they will be seeing as they get older. I am praying for them, for their future spouses, for the world they will be living in...unless Jesus comes back first...which is what I am really hoping for.
This book is written by a husband/wife couple who are Pulitzer Prize winners in journalism. I am not sure what their beliefs are, but they are for humanitarian causes and care about social justice issues. You would not find this book in a christian bookstore (at least I couldn't). God is definitely teaching me and humbling me.
I can only stomach bits at a time of this book. It has caused me to look at what God may want us to do as a family, as a woman, but mainly as the hands and feet of Christ. I have had to struggle through a few chapters and the last one was tough. I am not even finished reading this book yet either.
Chapter 5: The Shame of "Honor". They quote Deuteronomy 22:13-21. "If a man takes a wife and, after lying with her, dislikes her and slanders her and gives her a bad name, saying, "I married this woman, but when I approached her, I did not find proof of her virginity," then the girl's father and mother...shall display the cloth[that the couple slept on] before the elders of the town...If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the girl's virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father's house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death."
I had a big problem with this. I feel like they are saying that cultures are believing the Bible and God condone the killing of a girl if she doesn't bleed on her wedding night. They do say that "this view has dissipated in most of the world, but survives in the Middle East..."
I tossed this in my head all night. Then I was doing my Ray Vander Laan study this morning, starting off in the Old Testament. Honestly, I was thinking how cruel people could perceive God and do. But then we went to Jesus in the New Testament. This part was not part of my study this morning, but God had it for me. John 8:1-11. The pharisees brought in a women caught in adultery and they brought up the Law of Moses and wanted to stone her. Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger and they kept questioning him, he stood up and said "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Then he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
{{ What could he have written?? Perhaps something they would have understood--( Jeremiah 17:13 ...those who turn away from you will be written in the dust because they have forsaken the Lord...) }}
They left one at a time, the older ones first, (Rabbinic order) until only Jesus was left with the woman. Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?", "No one, sir, "she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."
Wow. I just love Jesus. If the Middle Eastern people just knew Jesus...if they could see His mercy and love and forgiveness and fresh starts, then maybe, just maybe we wouldn't see all of this tragedy (that the media does a fine job of not reporting.)
I love, love, love that He met me where I was this morning.
This book is written by a husband/wife couple who are Pulitzer Prize winners in journalism. I am not sure what their beliefs are, but they are for humanitarian causes and care about social justice issues. You would not find this book in a christian bookstore (at least I couldn't). God is definitely teaching me and humbling me.
I can only stomach bits at a time of this book. It has caused me to look at what God may want us to do as a family, as a woman, but mainly as the hands and feet of Christ. I have had to struggle through a few chapters and the last one was tough. I am not even finished reading this book yet either.
Chapter 5: The Shame of "Honor". They quote Deuteronomy 22:13-21. "If a man takes a wife and, after lying with her, dislikes her and slanders her and gives her a bad name, saying, "I married this woman, but when I approached her, I did not find proof of her virginity," then the girl's father and mother...shall display the cloth[that the couple slept on] before the elders of the town...If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the girl's virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father's house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death."
I had a big problem with this. I feel like they are saying that cultures are believing the Bible and God condone the killing of a girl if she doesn't bleed on her wedding night. They do say that "this view has dissipated in most of the world, but survives in the Middle East..."
I tossed this in my head all night. Then I was doing my Ray Vander Laan study this morning, starting off in the Old Testament. Honestly, I was thinking how cruel people could perceive God and do. But then we went to Jesus in the New Testament. This part was not part of my study this morning, but God had it for me. John 8:1-11. The pharisees brought in a women caught in adultery and they brought up the Law of Moses and wanted to stone her. Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger and they kept questioning him, he stood up and said "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Then he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
{{ What could he have written?? Perhaps something they would have understood--( Jeremiah 17:13 ...those who turn away from you will be written in the dust because they have forsaken the Lord...) }}
They left one at a time, the older ones first, (Rabbinic order) until only Jesus was left with the woman. Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?", "No one, sir, "she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."
Wow. I just love Jesus. If the Middle Eastern people just knew Jesus...if they could see His mercy and love and forgiveness and fresh starts, then maybe, just maybe we wouldn't see all of this tragedy (that the media does a fine job of not reporting.)
I love, love, love that He met me where I was this morning.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Remembrance Stones
There is so much spinning in my mind I almost don't know where to start. I will start with the biggest change going on at this time.
Yesterday was my last day as a complex case manager at the insurance company for medicare/medicaid. I did not enjoy this job at all. Except that my best friend from high school/nursing school worked there as an educator--that was fun. We got to have lunch almost everyday and talk about faith, family, hospice. That was a huge blessing. Everything else pretty much was...kind of bad, really bad. I finally had the worst supervisor in my nursing career. Mike has had his share of them, but I have been pretty blessed with wonderful directors.
In this time of my life, I feel like I am in a "job desert". I know that God has me here for a reason.
He has been so faithful. I need to write out a few acts of His faithfulness so that I don't forget. Kind of like putting remembrance stones in place.
A couple of Mondays ago it was a very difficult morning dealing with people at work. I had turned in my resignation that previous Friday. My friend Beth texted me to let me know that God had put me on her heart and brain and figured she better check in with me. I was needing that--at that moment! I told her what had been going on and thanked her for following what God had put on her heart, because I needed to know that I was on His. She said that I can so trust that God has me covered because she had a million different things going on, but He wouldn't let her get away from thinking/praying for me. She had Romans 5:3-4 for me.
Wow. I would have never experienced that if I had not been going through that difficult time.
I feel like God is leading to learn a new clinical area. NICU/PICU. I want to go through an internship and learn how to take care of babies and children. In the ER we just learned the basics because they always got transferred out. My friend is the clinical director at BMC and said they are not hiring nurses right now, but in the fall/winter they will and the internship program starts in December. She said they are in desperate need of volunteers to rock the babies. So when the girls start school in August, I will volunteer.
I am doing a Ray Vander Laan study called Walking with God in the Desert. So timely for me. I was studying about the Israelites in the desert. Moses was "venting" to God about the people and said..."...as a nurse carries an infant." Numbers 11:12b. I don't take scripture out of context, but this one stopped me in my tracks.
I am learning that the desert is a place where God meets me, to shape and mold me to be His instrument. He shows me His sufficiency and is giving me the opportunity to draw closer to Him and to choose to be more faithful to Him.
Deuteronomy 8:2-3
Remember how the Lord you God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.
Yesterday was my last day as a complex case manager at the insurance company for medicare/medicaid. I did not enjoy this job at all. Except that my best friend from high school/nursing school worked there as an educator--that was fun. We got to have lunch almost everyday and talk about faith, family, hospice. That was a huge blessing. Everything else pretty much was...kind of bad, really bad. I finally had the worst supervisor in my nursing career. Mike has had his share of them, but I have been pretty blessed with wonderful directors.
In this time of my life, I feel like I am in a "job desert". I know that God has me here for a reason.
He has been so faithful. I need to write out a few acts of His faithfulness so that I don't forget. Kind of like putting remembrance stones in place.
A couple of Mondays ago it was a very difficult morning dealing with people at work. I had turned in my resignation that previous Friday. My friend Beth texted me to let me know that God had put me on her heart and brain and figured she better check in with me. I was needing that--at that moment! I told her what had been going on and thanked her for following what God had put on her heart, because I needed to know that I was on His. She said that I can so trust that God has me covered because she had a million different things going on, but He wouldn't let her get away from thinking/praying for me. She had Romans 5:3-4 for me.
Wow. I would have never experienced that if I had not been going through that difficult time.
I feel like God is leading to learn a new clinical area. NICU/PICU. I want to go through an internship and learn how to take care of babies and children. In the ER we just learned the basics because they always got transferred out. My friend is the clinical director at BMC and said they are not hiring nurses right now, but in the fall/winter they will and the internship program starts in December. She said they are in desperate need of volunteers to rock the babies. So when the girls start school in August, I will volunteer.
I am doing a Ray Vander Laan study called Walking with God in the Desert. So timely for me. I was studying about the Israelites in the desert. Moses was "venting" to God about the people and said..."...as a nurse carries an infant." Numbers 11:12b. I don't take scripture out of context, but this one stopped me in my tracks.
I am learning that the desert is a place where God meets me, to shape and mold me to be His instrument. He shows me His sufficiency and is giving me the opportunity to draw closer to Him and to choose to be more faithful to Him.
Deuteronomy 8:2-3
Remember how the Lord you God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.
This really spoke to me today. It is about motherhood as a mission field from the Desiring God Blog by a contributor named Rachel.
Here is an excerpt:
Jim Elliot famously said, “He is no fool who gives up that which he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.” Motherhood provides you with an opportunity to lay down the things that you cannot keep on behalf of the people that you cannot lose. They are eternal souls, they are your children, they are your mission field.
But I’d like to challenge you to look at it differently. Giving up what you cannot keep does not mean giving up your home, or your job so you can go serve somewhere else. It is giving up yourself. Lay yourself down. Sacrifice yourself here, now. Cheerfully wipe the nose for the fiftieth time today. Make dinner again for the people who don’t like the green beans. Laugh when your plans are thwarted by a vomiting child. Lay yourself down for the people here with you, the people who annoy you, the people who get in your way, the people who take up so much of your time that you can’t read anymore. Rejoice in them. Sacrifice for them. Gain that which you cannot lose in them.
It is easy to think you have a heart for orphans on the other side of the world, but if you spend your time at home resenting the imposition your children are on you, you do not. You cannot have a heart for the gospel and a fussiness about your life at the same time. You will never make any difference there if you cannot be at peace here. You cannot have a heart for missions, but not for the people around you. A true love of the gospel overflows and overpowers. It will be in everything you do, however drab, however simple, however repetitive.
God loves the little offerings. Given in faith, that plate of PB&J’s will feed thousands. Given in faith, those presents on Christmas morning will bring delight to more children than you can count. Offered with thankfulness, your work at home is only the beginning. Your laundry pile, selflessly tackled daily, will be used in the hands of God to clothe many. Do not think that your work does not matter. In God’s hands, it will be broken, and broken, and broken again, until all who have need of it have eaten and are satisfied. And even then, there will be leftovers.
Here is an excerpt:
Jim Elliot famously said, “He is no fool who gives up that which he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.” Motherhood provides you with an opportunity to lay down the things that you cannot keep on behalf of the people that you cannot lose. They are eternal souls, they are your children, they are your mission field.
But I’d like to challenge you to look at it differently. Giving up what you cannot keep does not mean giving up your home, or your job so you can go serve somewhere else. It is giving up yourself. Lay yourself down. Sacrifice yourself here, now. Cheerfully wipe the nose for the fiftieth time today. Make dinner again for the people who don’t like the green beans. Laugh when your plans are thwarted by a vomiting child. Lay yourself down for the people here with you, the people who annoy you, the people who get in your way, the people who take up so much of your time that you can’t read anymore. Rejoice in them. Sacrifice for them. Gain that which you cannot lose in them.
It is easy to think you have a heart for orphans on the other side of the world, but if you spend your time at home resenting the imposition your children are on you, you do not. You cannot have a heart for the gospel and a fussiness about your life at the same time. You will never make any difference there if you cannot be at peace here. You cannot have a heart for missions, but not for the people around you. A true love of the gospel overflows and overpowers. It will be in everything you do, however drab, however simple, however repetitive.
God loves the little offerings. Given in faith, that plate of PB&J’s will feed thousands. Given in faith, those presents on Christmas morning will bring delight to more children than you can count. Offered with thankfulness, your work at home is only the beginning. Your laundry pile, selflessly tackled daily, will be used in the hands of God to clothe many. Do not think that your work does not matter. In God’s hands, it will be broken, and broken, and broken again, until all who have need of it have eaten and are satisfied. And even then, there will be leftovers.
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